By The Beachwood Hail Mary Affairs Desk

Announcer: We interrupt our regular Halloween Night programming for a special 30-minute message from John McCain – 60 minutes on CBS, and two hours on closed-circuit systems in the nation’s nursing homes.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present in conjunction with our sponsors the Old Country Buffett and Time-Life, John McCain.
McCain: Thank you, Joe the Plumber. My friends . . .
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Amber waves of grain. Chuck Norris in a field singing a Mellencamp song. Gauzy images of white people in small town Ohio, Pennsylvania coal country, the condominiums of Miami Beach.
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My friends, many of you have been wondering where the “real” John McCain has been during this campaign. Well, I’ll tell you. We’ve been keeping him here in this cryogenic chamber . . .
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My friends, as I’ve traveled with Cindy across the country for these last many months, I’ve met so many Americans whom I couldn’t stand. I mean, really! These are the people I was tortured for? It’s all yours, Barack. I’m off to Georgia!

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Posted on October 31, 2008

By The Beachwood School Lunch Affairs Desk

“Cook County Board President Todd Stroger will serve as one of eight ‘Principals for a Day’ at Kenwood Academy in Chicago’s Hyde Park/Kenwood community on October 30, beginning at 8:30 AM.”
* A half-dozen teachers laid off and replaced by public relations specialists.
* VIP elevator installed.
* Renames nurse’s office Stroger RN, LLC, then closes it.
* School lunch contract outsourced to childhood friend.

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Posted on October 30, 2008

By The Illinois Campaign for Political Reform

TOP 10 DONORS TO LEGISLATIVE CONTESTS GAVE $4.3 MILLION
Same Donors Gave Another $440,000 to Anti-Con-Con Group
With a week to go before Election Day, many candidates for General Assembly are raising campaign money at a furious pace and just 10 contributors account for nearly 20 percent of all funds raised by legislative candidates in recent months.
A dozen legislative races are approaching or have passed the $1 million mark; all told, legislative candidates have raised more than $20 million since July 1.
The Illinois Campaign for Political Reform (ICPR) and the Sunshine Project examined campaign disclosure reports filed by incumbent legislators and candidates for the General Assembly to compile this list of top donors.

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Posted on October 28, 2008

By The Illinois Campaign for Political Reform

REQUIRED ECONOMIC INTEREST STATEMENTS ARE WOEFULLY INADEQUATE
MOST POPULAR ANSWERS ON FORM: “NONE” AND “DOES NOT APPLY”
tate and local candidates on the November ballot are required to complete “Statements of Economic Interest,” but the government form requires so little information that most answers are of little to no value to voters, according to the Illinois Campaign for Political Reform.
Because the questions on the form seek minimal information about income, investments and potential conflicts of interest, 28 percent of all state legislators and their opponents in the 2008 election answered “none” to all eight questions on the Statement of Economic Interest.

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Posted on October 24, 2008

By VoteForJudges.org

Chicago Appleseed Fund For Justice Aims To Educate Illinois Voters On This Year’s Judicial Candidates Running For Re-Election With VoteForJudges.org Campaign
VoteForJudges.org, a program run by Chicago Appleseed Fund for Justice, is a non-partisan group dedicated to providing voter education for the upcoming judicial elections. On November 4, voters will be asked to decide whether or not over 70 judges running for re-election should remain on the bench. VoteForJudges.org makes it easier than ever to educate yourself on the qualifications of these judges by providing voters with over a dozen different bar associations’ evaluations and recommendations, as well as the recommendations from newspapers and other publications.

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Posted on October 23, 2008

By The Real News Network & Friends

First Colin Powell, now Noam Chomsky! But put away those illusions, he says.

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And as long as we’re here, let’s check in on some other recent Chomsky video.

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Posted on October 21, 2008

By The Mystery Debate Theater Affairs Desk

We wouldn’t want your Beachwood collection to be incomplete, so here’s where you can find our presidential and vice presidential installments posted over at Division Street.
* Mystery Presidential Debate Theater #1
* Mystery Presidential Debate Theater #2
* Mystery Presidential Debate Theater #3

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Posted on October 19, 2008

By The Wisconsin Advertising Project

Facts about Tone of Presidential TV Advertising Campaign from the Wisconsin Advertising Project
MADISON, WI – In the presidential candidate debate last night, both candidates made empirical claims about the tone of the other’s television advertising campaign. Barack Obama argued that all of John McCain’s advertising has been negative and Senator McCain countered that Senator Obama has aired more negative ads than anyone in history – and that he can “prove it.”
The University of Wisconsin Advertising Project, using data from the Campaign Media Analysis Group, has tracked and analyzed the targeting and tone of presidential advertising in the last four presidential campaigns. So, what does the evidence say? Was Obama correct? Did McCain prove it?

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Posted on October 16, 2008

By The Special Guests Publicity Service

Editor’s Note: Be on the alert for this as you watch tonight’s debate. And also be careful of John McCain’s unusual ability to induce sleep.
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THE ABILITY TO HYPNOTIZE: Master Hypnotist Says It Is One Of Barack Obama’s Most Effective Skills
MSNBC’s Chris Matthews said that listening to Barack Obama speak sent a “thrill up his leg” while prosecutors in St. Louis volunteered to join the “Barack Obama Truth Squad.” When you ask Obama’s supporters why he has their vote, the answer involves the word “change” with little or no specifics.
Dr. William D. Horton is not only a highly trained psychologist but he is considered the leader in NeuroLinguistic Psychology and a master hypnotist. He is also certain that Barack Obama is using multiple hypnotic techniques that are designed to circumvent what’s known as the “critical factor” or conscious part of the brain that is responsible for reason, logic, and rational thoughts. Upon doing so, the subconscious mind is wide open and vulnerable to his influence and suggestions.

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Posted on October 15, 2008

By Citizen Kate

I feel like he’s been strapped around my lap forever!

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Posted on October 14, 2008