By The Beachwood School Lunch Affairs Desk
“Cook County Board President Todd Stroger will serve as one of eight ‘Principals for a Day’ at Kenwood Academy in Chicago’s Hyde Park/Kenwood community on October 30, beginning at 8:30 AM.”
* A half-dozen teachers laid off and replaced by public relations specialists.
* VIP elevator installed.
* Renames nurse’s office Stroger RN, LLC, then closes it.
* School lunch contract outsourced to childhood friend.
* A third of classes replaced by do-nothing work study jobs.
* Mimeograph machines replace laser printers.
* Trucks are hired.
* John Daley named dean of students; begins paddling teachers protesting cuts.
* Cousin named chief financial officer; begins bullying students for lunch money.
* Bill Beavers named gym coach; new school mascot is a hog with really big nuts.
* Stroger declares that the school’s new chief rival is Tony Peraica.
* Students kicked off student newspaper; job is outsourced to Stroger pal.
* Kenwood Academy renamed “8th Ward Regular Democratic Organization.”
* Stroger serves as Principal for Day, but declares Richard M. Daley Principal for Life.
* Forrest Claypool sent to detention.
* Last second illness prevents appearance, but his son takes his place.
– Marilyn Ferdinand, Rick Kaempfer, Steve Rhodes
Posted on October 30, 2008