By Steve Rhodes
1. Secret U.S., Taliban Talks Reach Turning Point.
Yes. They’re no longer secret.
2. North Korea Mourns Dead Leader, Son Hailed As ‘Great Successor’.
Good thing that could never happen here.
3. Blagojevich Attorneys Back In Court Today Trying For New Trial.
New defense claims he was governing under the influence.
4. Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy Issue Breaking Records.
Snorting coke off her crotch is the new Tebowing.
5. You, Molaro, Burke and $3 Million.
And Madigan, Cullerton and the Democratic Party.
6. GOP Debates Have Been A Boon.
Yes, if you’re grading crazy on a curve.
7. Dentist Who Helped Pimps Wants To Work Again.
This time on teeth.
8. ‘Our Lady of the Underpass’ Hasn’t Faded Away.
Will start against Green Bay.
9. CME Trust’s Charity Grants Halt On MF Failure.
On heels of MFing success.
10. Best – Or Dumbest – Safety Guide Ever. Still deciding.
11. SportsMonday: Martz vs. Q.
12. Goodbye Bookman’s Alley.
13. Beyond Scared Straight In Belleville.
14. Chicagoetry: The Wizard of Is.
15. The Weekend in Chicago Rock.
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The Beachwood Tip Line: Scratch, sniff.
Posted on December 19, 2011