By Steve Rhodes

News, views, spews.
1. “Does a pumpkin bounce if you drop it from a second story balcony in the Museum of Science and Industry?” Chicago Parent asks.
Not if you hit your target.
2. “Mayor Rahm Emanuel today dumped the entire board that oversees enforcement of ethics and campaign finance rules at City Hall, calling it ‘a new day for ethics and accountability in Chicago,'” the Tribune reports.
“During the quarter-century it has existed, the ethics board has been criticized as lax on enforcement. The panel hasn’t found a single case of wrongdoing by aldermen, even though more than 20 were convicted of felonies in that period.”
Hey, anyone can have a bad quarter-century.

Read More

Posted on October 3, 2012

By Steve Rhodes

“Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s plan to protect ‘outside parties’ who blow the whistle on City Hall corruption ran into unexpected opposition Tuesday from aldermen concerned about being falsely accused of shakedowns after standing up to problem businesses,” the Sun-Times reports.
Now you know how we feel!
Solution: Require aldermen to wear wires 24/7 until the city goes five years without one of ’em being indicted.

Read More

Posted on October 2, 2012

By Steve Rhodes

“A man who worked for Illinois Congressman John Shimkus was arrested on an assault charge after a scuffle with actress Lindsay Lohan in a New York hotel room, but he was released and charges were eventually dropped,” the Tribune reports.
Whatever. I prefer Michael K’s account at dlisted:
“The moral of the story is, when you want to do a line of the bad shit with some dude you met at club, just do it in the safety of a stall in the club bathroom. That’s why they have toilet seats!”

Read More

Posted on October 1, 2012

By Natasha Julius

Man, remember when live car chases used to end with career suicide? Good times.
Market Update
The value of Tax Amnesties dropped considerably once investors began to question its underwriting philosophy.

Read More

Posted on September 29, 2012

By Steve Rhodes

“The mass arrests of Occupy Chicago demonstrators that city leaders held up as a model for how to respect protesters’ rights has been ruled unconstitutional and tossed out of court by a Cook County judge,” the Tribune reports.
Held up as a model by the media, too.
“In a 37-page ruling issued today, Associate Judge Thomas Donnelly ruled the October 2011 arrests were unconstitutional because the city routinely chooses not to enforce the curfew for events the city supports, such as the 2008 Election Night rally for President Barack Obama. The judge noted that no arrests were made at that event, even though it went well past curfew.”
I seem to remember the protesters making that argument at the time. They were ridiculed.
“With the ruling, the arrests of 92 Occupy protesters on charges related to violating the curfew were thrown out.”
That’s okay, Rahm got what he wanted – when he wanted it – anyway.

Read More

Posted on September 28, 2012

By Steve Rhodes

News you can abuse.
1. Why not 200,001?
2. George Ryan is really really super guilty.
*
Most. Appeals. Denied. Ever.

Read More

Posted on September 27, 2012

By Steve Rhodes

“Ald. Sandi Jackson (7th) referred to the media as ‘jackals’ at a fund-raising event Tuesday night and said her husband was at home and doing well,” the Sun-Times reports.
“Sandi Jackson celebrated her birthday singing into the microphone and dancing with guests as ‘Let’s Get it Started’ blasted over the speakers.
“According to people who attended the private event that cost up to $5,000 a ticket, about 200 people filled the restaurant.”
So a nice haul.

Read More

Posted on September 26, 2012

By Steve Rhodes

“The 2.7 percent Medicaid rate cuts that Illinois nursing homes received for the current fiscal year included language setting minimum staffing levels that pleased nursing-home owners and infuriated advocates for residents,” GateHouse News Service reports.
“A spokeswoman for the nursing-home industry, Pat Comstock, said the legislation, crafted without recommendations from the advocates won’t chip away at the state’s landmark 2010 nursing-home reform law.
“But others said residents of long-term care facilities could suffer as a result of Senate Bill 2840, which Gov. Pat Quinn signed into law, because the staffing levels in the law are inadequate and confusing to enforce.

“It’s just sad,” said Wendy Meltzer, director of Chicago-based Illinois Citizens for Better Care. “People are going to be neglected.”

Read More

Posted on September 25, 2012

By Steve Rhodes

“A former lobbyist for a powerful teachers union is reaping a $100,000-a-year state pension thanks to wide-ranging retirement legislation sponsored nearly six years ago by her former boss, House Speaker Michael Madigan, and his legislative allies,” the Tribune reports.
“The 2007 law let Gail Purkey, who worked at two state jobs in the 1980s, receive a state pension based mostly on her long career and six-figure salary with the Illinois Federation of Teachers, the Tribune has found.”
The Illinois Federation of Teachers, of course, is not a government agency. It’s a union.

Read More

Posted on September 24, 2012

By Natasha Julius

Much like Taste of Chicago, we remain truncated, reconfigured and a complete waste of time.
Market Update
Wow. We never thought CNN would be writing punch lines for us.

Read More

Posted on September 22, 2012