Chicago -
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “NFL players more likely to develop depression, problems with thinking skills.”
QT NFL Concussion Count with IX Days to Go Until Super Bowl XLVII:
As of the end of the season and playoffs, NFL players had suffered CCXXXVI concussions.
QT hoped to estimate how many times NFL concussions might be mentioned during the Super Bowl broadcast.
But there is no Roman numeral for zero.
Posted on January 25, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Item: “Chief Justice John Roberts got it right this time–but President Barack Obama appeared to stumble over the word ‘states’ during his ceremonial swearing-in. . . .”
Now why did he stumble on this word?
Let’s see . . . states. . . states. . . states’ rights. . . rights of the people. . . rights of the people trampled by secret plan to bring in U.N. troops during second term to confiscate firearms and. . . .
No wonder he stumbled.
And he almost got it past us, too.
Posted on January 23, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Obama is sworn in for second term: ‘I did it.'”
What President Obama meant to say, of course, was that he did it with the help of a teacher along the way, maybe, and system that allowed him to thrive and somebody who. . . .
He did mean to say that, didn’t he?
Hey. Wait a minute. . . .
Posted on January 21, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Obama asks backers to push Congress on gun control.”
Typical of the man.
These are senators and representatives who have been bought by the gun lobby.
And they will stay bought.
Integrity still means something on Capitol Hill.
Posted on January 18, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Walmart promises to hire 100,000 veterans.”
News Headline: “Bill would give homeless veterans unclaimed clothing from airports.”
A lot of thought has gone into honoring our veterans.
Now they will have secondhand clothing to wear when they start their underpaid jobs with no benefits.
Posted on January 16, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Scientists find evidence that the universe is a ‘giant brain.'”
News Headline: “Most galaxies in the universe are moving away from us.”
Every universe has its right to second thoughts.
Posted on January 14, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Inauguration Fever: The best places to party in Washington.”
Jobs are low.
Poverty is high.
The war continues.
We’ve got to do something. . . .
Toga!
Posted on January 11, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Alabama wins national championship, routing Notre Dame.”
All right. Not so fast.
Let’s take a closer look at the college football season.
Alabama earlier lost to Texas A&M.
Texas A&M lost to Florida.
Florida lost to Louisville.
Louisville lost to Connecticut.
Connecticut lost to Syracuse.
Syracuse lost to Northwestern.
Which means. . . .
Northwestern is the 2012 National Champion.
Spread the word.
Go Cats!
Posted on January 9, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Saudi Arabia lashes abused woman for remarrying without consent.”
News Headline: “House GOP blocks Violence Against Women Act.”
It’s a small world, after all.
Posted on January 7, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “War planes bomb hungry civilians.”
For those who despair at the planet’s lack of progress from year to year, consider this:
Soon everyone will have computerized drones to bomb hungry civilians.
Posted on December 31, 2012
