By Steve Rhodes
The Papers will be late today due to a late night on the bartending shift, but we already have this week’s Outside Sox Park column by Dmitry Samarov posted – with another brilliant portrait. Collect them all!
UPDATE 1:53 P.M.: Life and other things are intruding, so the Beachwood will be so late today it will simply return tomorrow. We do have one more post up: The Chicago TV Stand. Enjoy and we’ll see you on Wednesday.
The [Monday] Papers
1. What If You Can’t Afford To Pay Your Taxes?
See also: The Rich Aren’t Like You & Me; They Don’t Pay Taxes.
2. The Wild Hare is closing.
“Ethiopian owner-musician Zeleke Gessesse will close his club and prepare to open a new one in his homeland.”
*
Thanks for the good times, Zeleke Gessesse.
3. “In their worst game of the series, the Vancouver Canucks still didn’t lose,” CBC Sports reports.
“But it wasn’t enough to impress Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews.
“‘Everyone wants to look at the stats all year and talk about what [the Canucks] do well and how good of a team they are,’ Toews said. ‘That’s whats frustrating.
“‘We’re not exposing them for what they really are. I think a lot of people outside this locker room are giving them too much credit.'”
*
Yeah, they’re just getting lucky . . .
*
Jonathan Toews, you are Today’s Worst Person in Chicago.
4. “Notre Dame said Monday that football staff responsible for advising whether it was safe to practice outside used out-of-date weather information the day a student videographer fell to his death when the hydraulic lift he was on toppled over in high winds,” AP reports.
“The investigation found that staff members likely depended on readings from the National Weather Service provided at 1:54 p.m. that day showing 23 mph winds in the area with 29 mph gusts. Although practice didn’t start until 3:45 p.m., the staff was unaware that at 2:54 p.m. the weather service reported winds of 29 mph with 38 mph gusts – two hours before the accident.”
*
Hey, Notre Dame investigators: You don’t need a weatherman to know the winds are blowing.
“It was 3:22 p.m., reports Pete Byrne of CBS affiliate WSBT in South Bend, Ind. Practice was just starting, when Sullivan tweeted a grim premonition: ‘Gusts of wind up to 60 mph. Well today will be fun at work. I guess I’ve lived long enough.'”
*
Another teachable moment whitewashed.
5. “A suburban Chicago priest who also serves as an Indy race car chaplain has been accused in a federal lawsuit of child sex abuse,” Claims Journal reports.
6. Obama Back Trying To Trick People To Believe He Wants To Change Politics.
I’m not done saying I Told You So, so here goes: I Told You So.
7. Beachwood Field Trip?
8. Sticky Notes On A Parked Vehicle.
9. View From The Book Table: Gospel Coalition 2011.
10. Chicago Repo: Red Lobster Finale.
11. The White Sox Report: Making Minnie Miñoso Sick.
12. The Cub Factor: Pigeon City.
In which I note that:
* Starlin Castro is the new Derrick Rose.
* Dusty Byfuglien is the new Mark DeRosa.
* Marlon Byrd is the new Barry Bonds.
13. The Weekend in Chicago Rock.
14. Advice for anyone driving to the season’s first night Cubs game at home this season.
Programming Note
I’m back behind the bar at the venerable Beachwood Inn tonight from 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. From 8 to 9 we’ll take time out from the world’s greatest jukebox to bring you another new episode of The Chicago Code. Here’s how TV Guide describes it:
St. Valentine’s Day Massacre: The mayor faults Teresa for rising crime rates after five people are shot in Lincoln Park, and Teresa wants Jarek to find the shooters so she can rebuild her public image. Elsewhere, Isaac and Vonda must re-investigate an old domestic-abuse case.
Of course, we’ll also show the Bulls playoff game against the Pacers, the Cubs at home against the Padres, and the White Sox versus the Rays, accompanied by the usual free pizza, pool, $2.50 Old Styles and the witty banter of whatever random Beachwood contributors wander in. See you tonight.
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The Beachwood Tip Line: Tangential.
Posted on April 19, 2011