By Jim Coffman

The superficial ways girl T-Ball players are different than boys become apparent at practice. For one thing, it appears the boys have more of an aptitude for careers in archeology.
“I don’t know what it is with you guys and the dirt,” said an exasperated assistant coach at my almost-six-year-old daughter Alana’s most recent training session. He made the statement in lieu of what would have been at least his fifth admonition to “get up out of the dust already.” Fortunately the wind wasn’t up and therefore the boys’ little excavations weren’t resulting in decreased air quality. There have been seriously breezy days as the season has progressed but still nothing like the Great Opening Day Dust Storm of 2007.
Alana and the two other girls on her team – who all occasionally kick up a little dirt but don’t dive in like the fellas – don’t necessarily pay better attention than the boys . . . Then again I suppose it is most accurate to say the more attentive boys zone out about as frequently as their female teammates. But the girls definitely don’t share many of the boys’ commitment to building the best darn dirt pile anyone in these parts has ever seen.

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Posted on June 29, 2007

By Eric Emery

Drugs, guns, strip clubs, pit bulls, and DUIs – it must be the NFL off-season!
Mini-camp can’t come soon enough for league officials hoping to drown out the bad news with feel-good stories about eccentric kickers and All-American quarterbacks who help old ladies across the street, but there’s plenty more hijinks to be accomplished before training camp kicks in. Here’s what we see in our Cristal ball.
*
Player:Pacman Jones.
Alleged Vices: Strip Clubs Fights and Friends with Guns.
What’s Next: Opens chain of strip clubs called “Strip, Scrap, and Strap.” Puts all your lap dance, bar brawl and gunfight needs under one roof.
Player: Tank Johnson.
Alleged Vices: Night Clubs, Speeding, Guns, Pit Bulls, and The Slightest Degree of Impairment.
What’s Next: Signs with Cops as the reccurring character “Guy Police Get to Berate for Being Exceedingly Stupid.”

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Posted on June 26, 2007

By Marty Gangler

When it comes to Cub fans and the play of the Chicago Cubs, there is always a certain disconnect. We here at The Cub Factor would like to ask why. Haven’t we learned our lesson? Why can’t people take this team at face value? How many times has this team let us down? Yet we cling to the hope that they are always just one winning streak – or one more journeyman, whichever comes first – from turning this whole thing around. We like to call this the Cub Chill Factor. It’s the difference between the real temperature of this team and what it “feels like” to Cubs fans.
For example, when the Cubs go, say, .500 over a period of 10 games, it “feels like” they’ve won seven of 10. When the Cubs win one of six but a couple of losses are close, it “feels like” they’ve gone 3-3. When the Cubs win two in a row – or sweep the White Sox – it “feels like” they are a contender. And when the Cubs are closer to last place than first but are within a half-dozen games of .500, it “feels like” they are making a run for it.
The Cub Chill Factor kicks into effect in a variety of other situations, as well.

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Posted on June 25, 2007

By Jim Coffman

Until recently, if you had asked me to detail my dream Father’s Day (i.e. during my first half-dozen or so years of paternity), the afternoon segment would have sandwiched televised sports around a delicious nap. Lately the nap continues to be a priority (I didn’t get one this year and later I was ready for bed way too early – an elemental part of me needs to at least be able to stay awake for the 9 o’clock news), but live sports are replacing the ones on TV. And I’m OK with that.
I’d better be. I’d be stunned if my Father’s Day weekends didn’t include some sort of youth baseball competition for – conservatively – the next decade. I have mentioned before in this space that my eight-year-old, Noah, is obsessed with the games we play in our league’s Junior Division. His almost-six-year-old sister has jumped right into T-Ball this spring and summer and is good at it. Unless I’m completely misinterpreting the situation (always a possibility of course), she’s also enjoying it quite a bit. And our little bitty toddler Jenna, who of course has oodles of baseball/softball potential (for one thing, she’s showing every indication of being lefthanded!) is only a couple months past two.

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Posted on June 22, 2007

By Marty Gangler

You would think Cubs players have it all, getting paid millions of dollars to work in the world’s best ballpark and live in one of the world’s best cities while drawing adoring fans despite years of losing in ways beyond description. So why are so many Cubs so angry?
It can’t just be the losing. After all, the Pirates, Devil Rays, and Nationals aren’t charging the mound every day.
Carlos Zambrano, sure. He’s nuts. Michael Barrett? Not the most solid bat in the rack. But when Derrek Lee loses it, you have to wonder: Why is this team angrier than Rosie O’Donnell at an Elizabeth Hasselback baby shower? What’s going on in that clubhouse?
We here at The Cub Factor blame the clubhouse boombox. Look at this playlist.

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Posted on June 18, 2007

By Jim Coffman

I didn’t want to disappoint my eight-year-old son, especially in the afterglow of a hard-fought sporting endeavor. But I decided I had to draw the line: “Noah, I think mini-Oreos on top of mini-Chips Ahoy after a bag of Cheetoh’s would be a bit excessive.” OK, perhaps my exact quote wasn’t quite that droll. It was more along the lines of, “Take it easy on the snacks would you? We’re having dinner after this.”
Of course, at that point he was already well past the point of no nibbling return. And when he didn’t exactly chow down on the delicious dinner his mother prepared for him about an hour later, the standard “Next time don’t spoil your appetite with so much junk” speech was right there for me.

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Posted on June 15, 2007

By Marty Gangler

You would think that after close to 100 years of losing on the North Side, Cubs fans would have learned a few lessons by now. For example: Don’t get sucked in by a modest display of decent baseball apparently sparked by an event – such as a fight and an ejection – rather than actual solutions applied to the makeup of the team. Yes, the Cubs had a decent week. And yes, Milwaukee can’t beat a T-Ball team right now. So has this team really pulled it together? Did Uncle Lou the mad scientist finally find the secret formula for winning? And could that formula include a four-man platoon – a quadtoon, if you will – in right field? We here at The Cub Factor are going to say No. A glimmer of hope is just that – a glimmer. That means there’s still a whole lot of darkness. Don’t look at the light, people. It will hurt your eyes, damage your brain, and break your heart.

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Posted on June 11, 2007

By Jim Coffman

The clouds were intense. They didn’t bode well for the successful completion of my daughter’s T-Ball game on Sunday, but they were still something to see – truly mountainous cumulus confections. They rushed in over the park as the first couple innings played out and sure enough, the rain began to fall in the third.
Soon tiny raindrops felt more like big ol’ smooches and the umpire called a halt to the proceedings. It wasn’t clear if the game was canceled or simply delayed but the other team fled the field like they had just heard the siren song of the ice cream truck. When the precipitation quickly eased and play could have resumed (it simply continued without any sort off delay on all the other surrounding diamonds) my daughter Alana’s Red Sox, most of whom had lingered near the diamond, no longer had an opponent. So I am hereby officially declaring Sunday’s contest a forfeit victory.

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Posted on June 7, 2007

By Marty Gangler

Wow. What an ugly week in Cubs history. The only thing that would have been better would have been for things to have gotten even uglier – we’d like to see Carlos Zambrano and Michael Barrett go at it again to determine who stays and who goes. And we think a few other fights within the Cubs family would be productive. Let’s take a look.

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Posted on June 4, 2007