By Tom Latourette
Cub fans, every year you feel hope
But then Cub fans, all your team does is choke
Because Cub fans, you’ve been cursed by a goat
And a fellow fan named Bartman
Cub fans, had a bad century
All the Cub fans, perpetual misery
99 years, is a very long time
Many tears shed in the Friendly Confines
Cubs beat Detroit in five in 1908
No one’s alive who saw 1908
Tinkers, Evers to Chance, part of a dynasty
Who would have thought, the last World Series we’d see
1908, Ford built the Model-T in 1908
We had seven more tries, before ’45
But the Tigers, Phils and Yanks kept a-wavin’ bye-bye
Kingman, hit ’em out of the park
After Hartnett hit ’em into the dark
After Babe Ruth, they say that he called his shot
No cork or ‘roids like Sosa
Durham, the ball went under his glove
Frickin’ Garvey, didn’t show his wife love
And then Dusty, in the eighth fell asleep
And last year the Diamondbacks sweep
A quarter’s what my seat cost in 1908
Twelve series chances lost since 1908
Brickhouse and Harry, Hey-Hey Holy Cow
Elia’s calling Wrigley a sucker’s playground
1908, been drinking PBR since 1908
We’ve got the Bleacher Bums, North Side are so hot
While down on the South Side they all look like Marge Schott
Cub fans, our salvation is Lou
And Zambrano, took out a cooler or two
Soriano, he got hurt when he hopped
But Jim Edmonds could not be stopped
Dempster, he’s pitching out of his ass
Carlos Marmol, he’s throwing nasty and fast.
And Ramirez, Kosuke Fukudome
Mark DeRosa Soto D-Lee
These Cubs are good in 2008
They have a Kerry Wood in 2008
Even though we’re in first, winning causes me fear
I’m sitting and waiting a new curse to appear
2008, one hundred years have passed since 1908
You now any old team, can have a bad century
Will we ever live to witness Cubs victory?
–
Also from the Beachwood Sports Parody Desk:
* Eddie Elia
* Please Stop Believin’
* 99 Years of Cub Losses
* Blame It On Bartman
* We Can’t Wait 100 Years
* Dusty Must Get Fired
* Let’s Call The Crosstown Off!
* Louuuuu!
* Ode to Ozzie
* The 12 Days of Cubness
* The Hester Man Can!
Posted on October 2, 2008