By Natasha Julius
Don’t worry; it takes more than a panicky military dictator to keep us from the weekend beat.
Market Update
Not a great week to be poor. Not really a great week to be rich, either. Oh wait . . . yes it is.
Odds Change
We here at the Weekend Desk know a losing trend when we see one, and we figure we’ve paid out enough money on the Bush Cabinet Resignation Pool. Like, it’s not even news anymore. So we are changing the terms. Instead of guessing who’s next to go, we are now accepting wagers on who’s going to last to the bitter end. Here are the latest odds:
Condoleeza Rice: 25/1
Michael Mukasey*: 15/1
George W. Bush: 8/1
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Even money
Dick Cheney: 1/20
*We’re still offering 2/5 odds that he’ll be confirmed in the first place.
Cold Homecoming
A shock ran through the Homecoming court this week as charismatic Chess Club president Pat Quinn again suggested kids should be allowed to de-throne an incumbent King if he, in Quinn’s words, “like, totally sucks.” Meanwhile, the embattled monarch faced harsh criticism from what he termed “jealous bitches” within his court as he turned his attention to Prom. “If I can just get everyone there to vote, I am so fucking money, right? I mean, who cares about next year? I’ll totally be in college by then.”
Two Wrongs Make a Write
Finally this week, we take a look at how the impending Writers Guild strike will affect your world. CBS president Les Moonves seems justly unworried, remarking that most of their writers kind of sucked anyway.
Posted on November 3, 2007