By Natasha Julius
Honestly, it could rain tiny gold ingots on Sunday. No one in Chicago will notice.
Market Update
Good thing Care is Affordable now, because Getting to It sure as hell isn’t.
Homeward Boundary
So, wait, a high-performing neighborhood school can have a positive impact on real estate values? Well, thank goodness the poor folks around Obama High will finally catch a break.
Basket Ballmer
Okay, Clippers fans, the good news is, you’re getting rid of your dickhead owner. The bad news is, his replacement hasn’t exactly been known for picking winners.
Cost Sharing
Quick, which will wind up being more this winter: total number of potholes patched or dollar amount to keep Divvy running?
Sheer Lunacy
Finally this week, if cracking glass under your patrons’ feet DOESN’T mean they’re about to plummet to their death, maybe . . . post a sign?
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The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Ingotty.
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The Beachwood Radio Network
* The Beachwood Radio Hour #9: Food Fight (Or Adults Behaving Badly).
Chicago’s city council and school board met at the same time this week and the laws of quantum decency were violated in innumerable ways. Plus: Ballistic Taco Mayhem, Barry Gibb Is Brilliant, Karen Lewis Is Super Smart, David Vitale Is Sleepy and Exene Cervenka Is Batshit Crazy.
* The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #2: Kaner & The Kubs.
Here we go again.
Plus: Are The White Sox Still Playing?
And: Chicago’s French Open.
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The Sound Opinions Weekend Listening Report: “Warpaint, a quartet from Los Angeles, makes incredibly danceable rock and roll, and they join us this week on the show. Plus, Jim and Greg review the new lo-fi covers album from Neil Young.”
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BeachBook
* Daisy Cutter Could Be Hard To Come By Due To Can Shortage.
* Downstate Danville Is The Cheapest Place To Live In America.
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TweetWood
To be clear: #CPS cutting budgets of neighborhood schools but giving away millions to FOR-PROFIT schools to startup. http://t.co/Uv5Yzdfhl4
— Kyle Hillman (@kylehillman) May 30, 2014
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Cook County Judge Tim Evans just banned electronic note-taking from all courtrooms. 4 pm on a Friday. No more Tweeting?
— Lauren FitzPatrick (@bylaurenfitz) May 30, 2014
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Crane Kenney’s cell phone just went off during a live appearance on “Sports Talk Live.” #clown #cubs
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 30, 2014
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The first question to any Crane Kenney interview should be “How do you keep your job?” #Cubs
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 30, 2014
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Kub Klown Show Goes On RT @CSNCoop: #CubsWay RT @ChiTribSports: Kenney gets extension through 2019 http://t.co/k37UFwYKz8“#
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) May 31, 2014
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Chicago Alternative Comics Expo @CAKEchicago happens 11 a.m.-6 p.m. today and tomorrow at Center on Halsted. Free. http://t.co/ht5vBjjHqT
— Robert Loerzel (@robertloerzel) May 31, 2014
Posted on May 31, 2014

