By Natasha Julius
We know this isn’t really necessary or beneficial, but you’ve got to admit . . . it’s awfully fun!
Market Update
The Corporation of Life took a hit this week. Earnings figures revealed its supply-driven approach to production has caused the value of its primary product to plunge to a mere $50.
Misfire
It’s not that we don’t think violent torpedoes of truth are necessary, but it seems like really fucking rich men have exposed enough harsh realities in the city of Detroit.
What Daddy Can Go Do
Of course, that’s not the most tasteless thing a really fucking rich man has done recently.
In Other News . . .
This just in: Pre-wedding jitters are still boring.
The Way to Really Fly
Chicago-area commuters received unsettling news this week as it seems new Metra CEO Alex Clifford is taking his “zero tolerance” policy a little too seriously.
Math Lag
Finally this week, with the state of local schools a key topic, the impact of America’s growing math deficit has never been more clear. After all, what good does it do to post calorie amounts if people can’t add as fast as they eat?
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The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Caloric.
Posted on April 2, 2011