By Natasha Julius
The Beachwood Reporter exploded yesterday. The Weekend Desk is here to pick up the pieces.
Market Update
The Cock-Eyed Optimism Index took a hit this week as it turns out Too Much of a Good Thing is not necessarily a good thing after all.
Cable Queen
In a shock to Palinites the world over, TLC announced something definitive about the former vice presidential candidate: she will not be hosting a second season of Sarah Palin’s Alaska.
However, the notably cross-over happy cable channel wouldn’t rule out the following possible guest appearances:
* Palin commissions a special bike from Orange County Choppers capable of drilling for oil while burning twice as much.
* Buddy Valastro creates a special rich, vanilla Tea Party cake for Palin complete with a chocolate tax code for her to cut. Cake is canceled when Harry Reid declares the party over.
* In recognition of Palin’s possible murky Twitter embrace of an incoherent gay-friendly agenda the What Not to Wear team adopts a special Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy on big hair.
* Palin stops by Kleinfeld to search for the perfect dress to wear when she finally commits to running.
Queen Carol
Finally this week, Carol Moseley-Braun appears ready to continue her ironic fight to conceal her dodgy financial status.
Many observers note these details would seem to make the former senator spectacularly well-qualified for the job.
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The Weekend Desk Tip Line: Real and spectacular.
Posted on January 8, 2011