By Natasha Julius
UPDATED 10/10/10
We’re sure you have a very important marathon to run or something, so we’ll keep an eye on the news for you this weekend.
Market Update
Shares in Duh skyrocketed in value this week as almost every major news outlet snapped up all available supplies.
Sweat and Lowdown
Klaxons sounded and relatives cheered as a drill finally reached 33 Chilean miners trapped since August 5. Celebrations were tempered, however, as news spread that the miners will be brought to the surface via CTA train.
Compete and Lowdown
The miners have also had to cope with the fact theirs is not the most dramatic collapse since August 5. Not even close.
Repeat and Lowdown
Come to think of it, theirs is not the greatest escape since August 5. Although at least they can be reasonably sure they’re not jumping from frying pan to fire.
Defeat and Lowdown
In fact, spending 65 days underground might not even be such a bad deal considering what could be waiting up top.
*
NEW!
Trib Editor Responds To Times Story With Bizarre Memo
The Week in WTF
–
The Beachwood Tip Line: Breathless.
Posted on October 9, 2010