By Natasha Julius
You can spend the weekend watching the action from Turnberry, or maybe even go out and pretend you’re there. We’ll keep our eye on the news.
Market Update
Despite a strong week overall, the key recovery industries of Truth and Integrity suffered a devastating loss.
Ill Communication
It’s been a banner week for Illinois lawmakers, agreeing both that budgets are important and that Michael Jackson was a genius. Analysts expect the Springfield government can now turn their attention to import debates such as what programs to cut and whether Madonna bears any moral responsibility for the tragic stage construction accident at a concert site in France.
South Slide
An analysis of public opinion polls this weeks shows that President Obama’s approval rating has dropped below 60% after his brazen display of partisanship. Sources close to the White House say the president was not fazed. “Our citizens are not stupid like Cubs fans,” Obama was quoted as saying. “They know this health care reform package is [bleep].”
In the Kitty
Finally this week, scientists at last confirmed that cats are manipulative. They failed, however, to prove conclusively that payback’s a bitch
Posted on July 18, 2009