By Natasha Julius
We were planning to suspend this week’s Report, but now that everything’s absolutely fine again, we’re going to go ahead with the show.
Market Update brought to you by JP Morgan
Nothing to see here, people. Move along, move along.
Still Bearish
Attempts to overhaul Illinois’ sputtering defenses hit a snag this week as officials learned the harsh reality that you can’t make someone healthy just because you want to. So in other words, duh.
Bellwether?
For the second time in the month of September, the City of Detroit has embraced Change We Can’t Really Believe In But We’re Going For Anyway Because It’ll Feel Great To Ditch What We Have. So in other words, duh.
High Drama
Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko has moved to end her lengthy standoff with President Viktor Yushchenko by calling for early elections. The radical move has not caught Hollywood off-guard, however, as a dramatization has already hit theaters.
Quad-umvirate?
Tired of seeing headlines usurped by raunchy starlets and their messy, messy personal lives, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has proved he can act naughty, too. In scripted, carefully choreographed contexts, of course.
Weekend Desk Editor’s Note: I will be abandoning my post for the next six weeks to monitor the Quadumvirate of Terror’s activities in India. The Weekend Desk Report will be filed by able Beachwood staffers in my absence. You can monitor my activities by checking my travelogue.
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Please note two late Friday posts:
* The Five Dumbest Ideas of the Week. And the people who had them.
* The Dane of Hollywood. A review of a revival of Dashiell Hamlet at Cit Lit Theatre.
Posted on September 27, 2008