By Natasha Julius
You can sleep in this weekend, safe in the knowledge that Madonna’s still married and we’re still watching the news.
Market Update
Markets failed to respond positively to a last-minute bailout of Presidential Dignity. Analysts note that fourth-quarter profits continue to plummet and stress most investors seem resigned to ride out the slump.
Court of Appeal
Meanwhile, presumptive Democratic candidate Barack Obama spent the week assembling key members of his potential Homecoming Court. Observers note Obama spared little more than one dance for Nicolas Sarkozy, although sources close to the once and future king note this is not related to unconfirmed rumors of cooties.
No Appeal
The deadline for captured former Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic’s appeal of extradition to the Hague has passed. Analysts note his actual appeal had pretty well passed anyway.
1984 + 32?
The City of Chicago this week took another big step towards Orwellian dystopia by announcing all its citizens will be kept safe by the watchful eye of Big Brother. City officials have also announced that we are currently at war with Springfield.
Summer Hours
How about you write a punch line for this one? We’re on a bit of a staycation.
The Truth Is Out There
Finally, this week sees the release of a new X-Files movie, proving conclusively that America is just as paranoid and blustery as it was six years ago. So, basically, duh.
Posted on July 26, 2008