Chicago - A message from the station manager

Wrigley Wrecking Ball

By Steve Rhodes

What was your favorite part of the Cubs’ season-long celebration of Wrigley Field’s 100th birthday?
I know the Ricketts’ favorite part: The end, when they begin putting the final nail in the coffin of the only untraded long-term asset that kept this franchise not only viable, but in tall cotton at the bank for decades.
Here are some of mine:
* Theo’s 100th flipped player.
* The team’s 100th version of its renovation.
* The 100th rerun of the Undercover Boss episode where Todd Ricketts throws away a bunch of hot dogs – on camera – and then lies to his boss (actually, his employee) about it by pretending he sold them.


* The 100th time Ricky Renteria said a player “did a nice job.”
* The 100th time Javy Baez struck out.
* The 100th article about Arismendy Alcantara’s chances of being the team’s leadoff man next season that showed no concern for his .267 OBP.
* The 100th assurance that The Plan was working and soon would prove so brilliant that it would vault the Cubs not only over the four teams ahead of them in the division and their Plans, but the 29 other teams in the major leagues and their Plans.
The Week In Review: The Cubs swept the Reds for some reason, then dropped three of four to the Dodgers.
The Week In Preview: The Cardinals are in for three, then the Cubs end the season with three in Milwaukee.
Wrigley Is 100 Celebration: Is that still going on?
Mad Merch: Big Ten Rivalry Week continues!
Prospects Are Suspects: Albert Almora is hitting .234 in Tennessee, which at least is better than Javy Baez and Arismendy Alcantara are hitting in Chicago.
New Dale: Rick Renteria was still pleased with how his young team performed against the leaders of the NL West during an 8-5 loss Sunday.
Laughable Headline Of The Week:In Lieu Of Speed, Renteria Will Take Smarts.
Like every manager before him, he’s got neither.
Kubs Kulture:Watch Arismendy Alcantara Play His Way Into The Plan.”
I’m watching and the only Plan I see him playing into is the Plan to tank another season for a top draft pick.
“Add it all up and you can see why the Cubs will be counting on Alcantara in 2015.”
Add up what – his .215/.267/.379 slash line?
Next Year’s Model: Add the Dodgers to the list of teams the Cubs should model themselves after, along with the Cardinals, the Astros, the Rays, the Orioles, the Royals, the A’s, the Pirates, the Nationals and the Braves.
Billy Cub vs. Clark Cub: Billy is a kid’s name. Clark is a dork’s name.
Advantage: Billy.
The Junior Lake Show: Dude’s .214/.249 is way better than Javy Baez’s .171/.233.
Mustache Wisdom: To honor retiring Paul Konerko, Carlos will also be known as Paulino.
Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Jorge Soler’s five walks has helped drive up the price of the rare event, at least in the Chicago area.
Jumbotron Preview: 5,700 square-feet of Jon Lester not pitching in a Cubs uniform.
Kubs Kalender: Wait ’til next year 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021.
Over/Under: Number of fans who attend the season’s last game at Wrigley: +/- 8,000.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that you get the feeling you’ve been cheated.

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Comments welcome.

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Posted on September 22, 2014