By Andrew Reilly
Paul Konerko passed the 1,000 career RBI mark this weekend, forever etching his name alongside the likes of Jeff Conine, Cecil Fielder, Travis Fryman, Todd Zeile and Stuffy McInnis. Two-hundred sixty-two men have driven in such a number, yet raise the bar to 1,250 and the headcount drops to 115. Keep climbing to 1,500 and suddenly we’re talking about 50 players.
At 1,750, the crowd shrinks to 18. At 2,000, we’re down to three. A thousand batted in is a huge number, yes, but at the same time the exclusivity of even those nominally larger sums suggests a thousand isn’t quite as big as it seems. None of which should imply that Konerko’s milestone stands as anything less than awesome, but for all intents and purposes 1,000 runs batted in might be the most Konerkonian achievement of them all.
Paulie, by most definitions, is a pretty good ballplayer, although you’d be hard-pressed to find anybody who’d call him “great.” Plenty of thunder in his bat, plenty of tallies in all the right power-hitter columns, plenty of montage-worthy career highlights. And yet, when they talk about elite ballplayers it stands to reason Konerko’s name never comes up. Other hitters deliver more hits. Other fielders throw a slicker glove. Other team captains have more to say.
Yet, throughout his tenure on the South Side, there has been maybe no more steady presence in the White Sox uniform than Paul Konerko. Certainly more consistent names have come and gone (and we could all probably do without so much streaky hitting out of our first baseman), but with Konerko we always know in advance the sum of what we will have seen come October. Some big home runs. Some runs driven in. A lot of double plays grounded into. A surprisingly low number of intentional walks.
And the thing is, all of this will have been done in the most unspectacular fashion possible. No controversy. No scandal. No feuds. The between-pitches ritual (rest bat between the knees, tighten batting gloves, spit into palms, rub dry, make chopping motion with bat while walking towards the batter’s box, tap outside front corner of the plate, tap inside front corner of the plate, bat to shoulder and close with a lean back) might be a little quirky, but again that seems about right for Paulie. He has a pattern at the plate, but not a psychotic one, something normally picked apart and mocked by a mob of angry fans and press types instead executed in a quiet, steadfast, generally unnoticed fashion befitting the kind of guy who drives in about 1,000 runs.
Someday, a father and son will walk past a mural on the concourse of Comiskey Park III. The son will see a picture of a goateed workhorse branded as number 14. Reading through the list of achievements below it, the son will casually ask the father “Dad, was Paul Konerko the best?”
The father will pause for a moment to contemplate the question before shaking his head. “No,” he’ll say. “He wasn’t the best.”
“But make no mistake about it,” he’ll add. “He was still pretty darn good.”
Week in Review: Stationary. The Sox won some games, but so did the Tigers. And the Twins. And pretty much the entire American League.
Week in Preview: A 1959 World Series rematch followed by another set against some team from Lakeview. Expect great things, intermingled with some lousy things, all against a remarkable backdrop of frayed cargo shorts and bro-tastic dudes named Lance.
The Q Factor: Carlos Quentin has not been seen on a baseball field for some time, most likely due to his powers of invisibility.
That’s Ozzie!: “Mr. Clinton was outstanding. I see why people love him.”
The Guillen Meter: With the mightiest team in the National League arriving Tuesday and the Small Bears arriving Friday, the Guillen Meter reads a cool 3 for “calmly awaiting a good old-fashioned showdown.”
Underclassmen Update: Baseball Spice and Chris Getz’ have as many combined career home runs (two) as Albert Pujols had yesterday.
Alumni News You Can Use: The San Francisco Giants’ strange fascination with former Sox players continues with new minor league addition Shingo Takatsu. According to a report from Japanese sports site Sponichi, “3rd American sphere boundary transfer history upper beginning,” and “after acquiring the work visa, it re-visits America, confluence to 3A [hurezuno] is powerful.” This can only improve their chances in the National League West, especially with Takatsu being the so-called “listed the Japanese-American total 313 saving, last year the Takatsu retainer.”
Hawkeroo’s Can-O-Corn Watch: With the Dodgers in town, expect broadcasts to be peppered with references to that one time Casey Blake did something awesome, what a great addition 1959 Sox CF Jim Landis would be to this year’s squad, and how Joe Torre is a genius for winning so many World Series’. Also, listen closely Tuesday evening for a sermon on why hot-hitting backup Dodger outfielder Kal Daniels is probably one of the three best players in the game today, an interesting proposition considering Daniels actually retired in 1992.
Endorsement No-Brainer: Saturday night wrecking crew Scott Podsednik and Alexei Ramirez for 2007’s iteration of the iMac. You can’t be too thin. Or too powerful.
Cubs Snub: Kerry Wood blew a pair of saves over the weekend at Wrigley. Once a Cub, always a Cub!
The White Sox Report: Read ’em all.
The Cub Factor: Know your enemy.
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Andrew Reilly is the managing editor of The 35th Street Review and a contributor to many fine publications.
Posted on June 22, 2009