By Marty Gangler
The Crosstown Classic should be renamed The Six Regular Season Games Against Another Team Classic. Sure, that isn’t interesting or fun, but neither are the games. Okay, they are as interesting as any typical weekend series at Wrigley Field, or The Cell for that matter, but they certainly aren’t any fun. The Cubs-Sox rivalry stopped being fun a while ago; now it’s just annoying.
I’ve attended a few of these games over the years and it’s never been fun. The last time I was in the stands at a Crosstown “Classic,” I had to endure a loudmouth White Sox fan bitching about everything wrong with Wrigley Field. Sitting in front of this guy, I heard him cry about the food, the washrooms, and the scoreboard. The worst part of it was that he thought he was being funny, but these tired, useless, pointless, tired (did I say tired?) arguments just weren’t funny at all. At one point, as a Sox player was batting, he said something like, “I wish I knew the batting average of this guy. But no, the scoreboard doesn’t tell me that,” to which I turned around to him and said, “If you were a real fan you would know the batting average of this guy.” That shut him up for approximately .3 seconds, and then he started bitching about how the women on the South Side are hotter than those at Wrigley. Um, yeah.
Where was the fun there? Don’t get me wrong, there are probably as many idiot Cub fans as idiot Sox fans, but the point is that these games bring out the inner idiot of all of Chicago. Let’s just put an end to them and everyone will enjoy this great city a little bit more.
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Week in Review: The Cubs went 3-4 this week, losing three of four to the Mets and winning two of three from the Sox. Three up and four down during a tough stretch doesn’t sound so bad, but the way that the Cubs lost in New York just leaves you with a not-so-good feeling. Like if you were on a date and the person you were with ordered the salmon and you wanted to order the salmon but now it’d be weird if you both got the same thing so you order the seared tuna and it’s just okay and your date keeps saying how good the salmon is and you just think that your dinner could have been better, but it just wasn’t.
Week in Preview: A six-game West Coast trip with three against the Padres and three against the Dodgers. So there’s a bunch of late nights in store for Cub fans. Or you could go to bed at a reasonable hour while the Cubs are winning and wake up to hear about how the merry-go-round of crappy relief pitching lost another one.
Side Note: The Dodgers’ typical line-up starts with Rafael Furcal, Juan Pierre, and Nomar Garciaparra, who are either fomer Cubs or almost-former Cubs (Furcal). And the Dodgers are in first place, six games over .500. How do these things happen?
The Second Basemen Report: Ryan Theriot started five of seven games this week at second. Mark DeRosa started the other two. Just when you thought it was safe to say DeRosa is the second baseman on this club, Uncle Lou pulls another fast one. So for now, Theriot is the actual second baseman and DeRosa is the utility guy. Until next week.
The Cub Factor would also like to welcome Mike Fontenot to The Second Basemen Report. And say goodbye to Mike Fontenot, though we have a feeling we’ll see him again soon. Fontenot came up for a few games this week and played a little second base. Maybe next time he’ll play a little outfield too.
In former second baseman news, Neifi Perez has had 24 at-bats for the Detroit Tigers this season, and is batting .208 with one homer and 4 RBI. He is missed.
And in second-in-the-batting-order news, The Cub Factor would like to welcome Angel Pagan to the two hole! And he just might stay there, wait, no he won’t. No one stays in the two-hole. When Derrek Lee gets all the way back, well, who knows what will happen. Anyway, we’re glad you visited the two-hole, Angel. You did a great job smacking the crap out of the ball. Now go hit seventh and warm up the bus to Iowa while you’re at it. Cuz you ain’t gonna see the same pitches batting in front of Cesar Izturis and the pitcher as you did hitting in front of Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez. So we hope you had a good time, made some friends, and took some pictures. Bye-eee.
Sweet and Sour Lou: 48% sweet and 52% sour. Down two points on the Sweet-O-Meter this week. Lou is beginning to get more sour than sweet these days as this team just can’t get it together yet can’t seem to completely break down either. Frustrating.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that Alfonso Soriano is not worth the money.
Over/Under: Number of games this week typical Cub fans will watch in their entirety : +/- 1.5
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.
Mount Lou: Mount Lou is currently holding at yellow but watch out. Expect a West Coast bullpen tremor to jostle Lou into a lava-spitting expletive eruption. Look for volcanic activity during the middle of the Dodgers series to top out at 6.7 on the Piniella scale. Mount Lou is due; Mount Lou is due.
Posted on May 21, 2007