By Marty Gangler
Being a Cubs fan this year is kind of like when you get back together with that crazy girlfriend. You feel good about it and think it’s great but deep down you’re really not sure it’s going to work. It’s happening, but not really happ’nin. So yeah, we all know the Cubs are good. They are “casually dating good” but are they “take home to mom good”? Which kind of means “regular season” good and not “win it all” good. But just like that crazy girlfriend, you kind of never know what is going to happen and that’s always good, it’s always interesting, and it’s always some kind of wild ride.
Week in Review: The Cubs went 3-2, splitting a two-game series with the Rockies and winning two of three from the Cards. Last night’s game was rained out. I wonder if Lou shaves for rainouts.
Week in Preview: Dusty Baker’s Reds come to Wrigley for three, and then the Cubs head to St. Louis for three against the Cardinals.This week will be a big test to see if the Cubs have what it takes to win the division. Except they pretty much already have what it takes, so let’s all make fun of Dusty for a while this week. Insert toothpick joke here _______.
The Second Basemen Report: Aaron Miles got three starts this week with the slumping Mike Fontenot, the putative starter, relegated to just two. Just like Jim Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Mark DeRosa had six RBIs on Saturday for the Tribe and Ronnie Cedeno didn’t have any RBIs all week for the Mariners. They will be missed.
The Zam Bomb: Big Z is Getting Angry this week. Giving up too many walks, hits, and runs will do that to the big guy. A longer fuse than normal has been lit, but it’ll go boom . . .
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Endorsement No-Brainer: Geovany Soto for Jenny Craig in about two months.
Lost In Translation: Kosuke-san illusiono is Japanese for enjoy Fukudome now because it won’t last.
Milton Bradley Game Of The Week: You know when you’re meeting someone for the first time and you want to make a good impression and “Break the ice” like, say, when you come over to a new baseball team? Well Milton said hello to the Wrigleyville faithful by getting kicked out and suspended right out of the gate. This week’s game is “Don’t Break The Ice.”
Sweet and Sour Lou: 62% sweet, 38% sour. Lou is up only one point on the Sweet-O-Meter due to more bullpen issues. And just like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou is glad he’s eventually getting his medication correctly but that broad at Walgreens is really pissing him off because he knows it should be easier.
Don’t Hassle the Hoff: All he does is hit. The ball. Unlike Milton Bradley, who hits people.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that Dusty Baker is still more bitter than a toothpick soaked in chew.
Over/Under: The total number of games Milton Bradley will be suspended for this season: +/- 10.5
Mount Lou: Mount Lou stays at level yellow. But if there was a color in between Yellow and Orange it would actually be that color. Call it Yellange. Bullpen turmoil is making the anger lava course through Mount Lou a little to close to the surface. But the crust should hold for now.
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Posted on April 20, 2009