It is becoming clear to even the most pessimistic of Cub fans that this team is going to be in a dog fight with the Brewers for the rest of the season. Which also means that Cub fans may be in a dog fight with Brewer fans. With this in mind, The Cub Factor would like to help you out in the war against the Brew Crew’s crew and wake up the real rivalry! Who knows, maybe this will spark a new flurry of McDonald’s commercials that show Mark DeRosa lacing Prince Fielder’s strawberry shake with Ex-Lax. The only problem is, we are finding it hard to use typical fandom warfare because most of it just doesn’t work when it comes to our friends from Wisconsin. But let’s give it a shot.
Tell Brewer fans that:
* Their stadium sucks. Except Miller Park is named after beer and the place is really, really nice.
* They just come out to the game to get drunk and don’t really know baseball. Except their fans seem to know baseball and you can get drunk anywhere in Wisconsin, it’s highly encouraged up there, so this just doesn’t fit.
* Their mascot is a crazy homeless man. Except Wisconsin’s generous welfare system gives him a home and a slide.
* Their announcers are either old and stupid or jaded and stupid. Except Bob Uecker is great, legitimately funny, and very entertaining.
* Their ballpark sits in an area brimming with drunk privileged frat boys. Except no one in Wisconsin is privileged, though they are mostly drunk.
* They have no charming traditions. Except The Sausage Race is the greatest thing in major league baseball – that’s hella-character. And c’mon.
* Their baseball team is just a bunch of high priced free agents and the organization is not capable of properly drafting and developing talent. Except this is not true.
So, it’s hard to hate the Milwaukee Brewers. So why don’t we not hate them. Just a thought; a rivalry where we respect what the other team has to offer and actually like the other team’s fans. Well, unless they talk about football . . .
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Week in Review: – The Cubs went 4-3, taking three of four from the woeful Nationals and losing two of three from the woeful Pirates. Not entirely satisfying, but this team still seems to be executing like good teams do. Wait, did I just say that? The Cubs a good team? What? No. I think I need to lie down. Thank God the All-Star break is here to give me time to come up with a few reasons why they still stink.
Week in Preview: The week starts with the All-Star Game. Will Derrek Lee finish his fight with Padres pitcher and National League teammate Chris Young? We hope so. But instead he’ll probably just short-sheet his bed or something. The Cubs then open the second half of the season with three against Houston at home this weekend.
The Second Basemen Report: In the last week, Mike Fontenot started four games and Mark DeRosa started three at second. Barring injuries, this looks to be Uncle Lou’s formula. Kinda boring. We might have to change this to The Right Field Report because that’s the position that is really now in flux. Three guys played there in the last seven games – including DeRosa, who made three appearances. Just like Jim Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, Mark Bellhorn last played in the majors in 2006 with the Padres, batting .190 in 155 games. He is currently with the Louisville Bats, the Triple-A team for the Cincinnati Reds. Mark is batting .250 with 10 homers and 48 RBI in 73 games. He is missed.
Sweet and Sour Lou 74% sweet and 26% sour. Lou is up 3 more points on the Sweet-O-Meter this week as the Cubs continue to (relatively) roll. Just like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou is feeling little pain these days. He just got the blades on his riding mower sharpened and is looking forward to a few days off from the job to really tip back a bunch of Busch Lights and do some fishin’ down at Old Cedar Creek. He knows what he’s in for when he gets back.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that four days off doesn’t help momentum.
Over/Under:The amount of people who care about the All-Star Game, including the players: +/- 8.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.
Mount Lou: Lou (still) continues to stay at green. Mount Lou will be experiencing a lack of tourism in the upcoming week which will make his inner lava cool even more. Mount Lou is hovering close to complete dormant status. But later in the summer, expect the weather to get hot and playoff pressure to bring magma to a boil.
Posted on July 9, 2007