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The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report

By Eric Emery

On the heels of my prediction that the Bears fall victim to the Packers on Week One, I went over to the forums for a reaction. Perhaps the Beachwood Reporter readership consumed too much booze or too easily saw the wisdom of such a declaration, but the forums contained no reaction. Upon further investigation, I did find that consecutive topics started “Oh my God I am so funny!” and “Get you medications ONLINE!” Needless to say, I was sufficiently entertained.
In the latest Over/Under, I covered over/under-hyped games of Week One. I considered including the Bears-Packers game in both sections. I soon realized that was overkill. And that is the last thing we need. Granted, the fat man at ESPN will ramble on about “The Frozen Tundra” and “NFC Norris” for five minutes. That is five minutes of your life you will never get back.


So to give this game it’s due, all jokes will be five- to ten-years old, which equates to the last time both teams had a better than average offense.
I consider this game over-hyped, being that as much as the network folks would like you to believe otherwise, this game will have more irregularities than a Florida election. Neither team shows much of a willingness to count above zero.
Will the crowd have energy? Yes. Well, it just depends what the definition of “yes” is. Truly, the Packer faithful sing “Bang on the Drum All Day,” “The Beer Barrel Polka,” or any song Brett Favre likes with all the enthusiasm in the world. On the other hand, the fan reaction to this game will turn ugly quickly, like the morning after a one-night stand with Linda Tripp.
On the other hand, I consider this an under-hyped game, in that I believe it will be closer than Bears fans and the greater public wants to believe. Some even believe this game will be decided quicker than Ray Lewis can hide a murder weapon. Let’s face it neither team is very talented. Clearly, the best talent exists within the Bears defense. Much like a funny Carrot Top joke, Brett Favre still can throw the ball down the field haphazardly and connect a few times. Add to that the not-to-be-underestimated fact that the Bears secondary has a tendency to allow such things to happen.
Much like our presidential candidates, this game will showcase inept management (Bush) versus lack of excitement (Gore). Perhaps interest in this game will die faster than a Death Row inmate in Texas.
Pick: Under 35 points, Green Bay +3
For a Bears win:
Sugar in the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid: 85%
Recommended sugar in the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid: 45%

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Posted on September 7, 2006