By Jim Coffman
That’s it, I thought about halfway through Sunday’s crisp interleague contest at Wrigley; these guys are not invited back next year. Any fan of baseball can find stuff to appreciate during a typical Twins game. Manager Ron Gardenhire’s boys almost always do the little things better than their Chicago foes and Sunday was no exception – the first run scored when Carlos Gomez, who had bashed a two-out double, took advantage of Ted Lilly and his defense’s indifference (or should we say incompetence) and stole third without a throw. Lilly and his mates could plead that a runner advancing to third doesn’t matter so much with two outs but then sure enough it did. Gomez (who would later complete the fastest home-run trot in Wrigley history after launching a solo shot to left-center – he thought the wind was going to blow it back) came in to score on Nick Punto’s perfect bunt between first base and the pitcher. Punto might have been safe anyway but Lilly’s tardiness covering the bag certainly didn’t help. Thankfully the Cubs finally (finally!) had a decisive little-ball answer in the ninth but we’ll save that for later. My problem Sunday was that I found myself seated right in front of a loud, repetitious (but not profane – I will at least give her that) Twinkie fan. And therefore I took some pleasure in the realization that the Twins won’t return to Wrigley any time soon.
|
I know that visiting Cub fans can be annoying elsewhere in the country, especially up at Miller Park. But then they leave and you have the place to yourselves again, don’t you Brewers fans? At Wrigley at this time of year in particular, it seems like every time we North Siders turn around we’re running into packs of opposing fans. Interleague play in particular brings out the visiting hordes, giving them the still relatively rare opportunity to see their squads at the finest ballpark in the land. And of course we always have the delightful White Sox and their gracious manager in for a series in the middle of it all.
(On that topic, hey Ozzie Guillen, I just want to apologize again for the fact that Wrigley isn’t equipped with the latest luxury appointments for visiting teams. Clearly you demand the finer things in life, and the fact that you and your team have to change into your uniforms in slightly cramped surroundings is an outrage that must not go unchallenged. I’m sure someday, thanks to your never-ending cries about how terribly unfair it all is for your pampered ballclub, this injustice will finally be rectified. Viva La Revolution!)
For a long time I have believed the only way to deal with one of the visiting fans we so often have the opportunity to interact with at Wrigley is to ignore them. Whatever you do, do not engage, especially as more and more beer is consumed. But I may have to try to come up with another strategy – poison darts perhaps? I love my regular spot in upper-deck reserved (a half-dozen of us share a nights and weekends package), but it seems like an increasing number of the seats around me are controlled by ticket brokers, making it more and more likely that visiting fans will negatively impact my baseball viewing experience.
So it was on Sunday. And although it wasn’t nearly as special as drunken Cardinal fans bellowing their typical inanities (you know, like their assertion that their team is so much better than ours – just because they’ve won 10 World Series since we last won one), it was still irritating.
I think on Sunday the fan in question averaged about 20 loud cries per inning, ranging from “You’re the best player in league Joey Baseball!” to “Justin Morneau, you are so due!” to “Have you learned to count today, Milt Bradley?!”
“Joey Baseball” is catcher Joe Mauer and he truly is an amazing hitter. His three perfect line-drive singles in his first three at-bats made you believe he really could hit .400 this year (even if no one else has done it in 60 years).
But if I had to listen to this fan any longer, I’d have to root against Mauer (who finished the day at .414 but is still a little ways away from having enough at-bats to officially be listed among the league leaders after missing significant time early in the season due to injury) breaking .200.
And I loved the idea that Morneau was “due” (despite his 54 RBI this season). If I had turned to say something (and I never did – just call me Mr. Self Discipline), it probably would have been something along the lines of “You have no clue what ‘due’ is.” Milt Bradley hitting .220 with 15 RBI – that’s ‘due.’
There was finally a little justice at the end. She was apparently a big Jesse Crain fan and was particularly excited when her favorite reliever came into the game. The problem was, Crain stinks this year (despite his ability to bring high-90s heat) and in the process of blowing the game in the ninth, he upped his ERA from the 7s to the 8s.
In the end, the Cubs’ win (thank you Derrek Lee for that dashing bit of base-running at the end) made it all better.
But I’m still thinking about a new course of action for the next time a loud-mouth backer of the visiting team settles in near me. Psychological warfare? Duct tape? Hmmm.
–
Coach Coffman welcomes your comments.
Posted on June 15, 2009