By Jim Coffman
I have a friend who loves Soldier Field as currently constituted. He loves the way it looks, the way it sounds, the way the setting sun creates a warm, reflective glow in the eastern stands as a November afternoon turns to evening (okay, that’s a bit of a stretch). Actually what he really loves is that it is a comfortable, convenient place for him to watch a game – approximately 100 times more so than it was before the renovation was completed in 2003. He remembers the last game he attended at the old Soldier Field – a playoff loss to, coincidentally enough, the Philadelphia Eagles in 2001. That game was marked by a huge halftime surge to the toilets (even more so than usual perhaps because it was the post-season). After a while (as the 10-minute halftime drew to a close), scores of male Bears fans in that part of the stadium decided they couldn’t wait any longer to relieve themselves at the woefully lacking facilities (mostly overmatched Port-o-Potties). The resulting mass wall-piss created what could only be described as a river of urine flowing down the ramps leading out of the place. Ah, yes, the good old days – although it must be said that golden phenomenon was a fitting metaphor for the Bears’ play, both in that specific playoff game and during so many other Chicago football fiascos.
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So in my friend Jon’s honor (he is a good guy, a great meteorologist . . . and he has almost perfect season tickets), I will start this column with neither snarky snippets nor a broad architectural critique (as if I could muster such a thing) about that big, wacky place the Bears call home. “Wacky” is alright isn’t it? It’s kind of fun, kind of crazy and it is definitely the best I can do.
Sunday evening, after all, was my once every year or two pilgrimage to the actual site where the team that has forever been my fall obsession plays its home games. And so I had a chance to yet again contemplate the stadium in question and to note that . . . wait, don’t go there. The place is undeniably so much better than it used to be for the most important constituency (and no, that’s not you Mr. Architecture Critic). We were able to get in and out smoothly thanks to cabs (we both live on the North Side) that dropped us off and then picked us up on Columbus Drive, a little more than a mile north of the Field. Although be careful where you try to pick up a cab over there. Cops on ATVs were patrolling areas where cabs aren’t supposed to stop, ready to crack down on miscreants who dared defy fencing put in place to try to force fans to wait to hop in their ride until they are a suitable distance away.
Like I noted earlier, we sat in great seats but the percentage of seats at Soldier Field that can be classified as at least “good” is remarkably high. It seems like there are an incredible number of luxury suites (the stadium overall seats 61,500, the lowest capacity in the league – I wonder where it ranks in total number of suites). But perhaps that makes it more economically viable to be so much smaller (and comfortable) than so many of the huge football bowls (with tens of thousands of not-good seats) that dot the land. Anyway, we had decent beer (Honkers) and decent food (Italian beef) nearby and besides the ever-mysterious “there’s a timeout – where – on the field – awww” thing that has to be one of the stupidest rituals in the history of spectator sport, the extra-curricular entertainment was solid (hey Bears, how about more of the drill team, not just little snippets before the game and at the start of the second half). In particular I cannot get enough of the digital scoreboard clip of the bear squishing the dear, departed John Candy under a door. I vote that alternating timeouts be filled with John Candy clips (culminating with the bear on the door) and the drill team. Who’s with me?
The game itself was forgettable. Gone was the optimism inspired by early-season fourth-quarter drives to critical field goals (not touchdowns, we now remember almost bitterly, but field goals).
I didn’t think the Bears were going to manage the needed final touchdown drive when they got the ball with just under two minutes remaining.
And when Cutler threw that final pick, he was actually putting everyone involved on our side out of their misery. That drive was over when Cutler went back to pass on the first play with 75 yards to go and not much time and fired a quick six-yard pass to Greg Olsen right in the middle of the field. Why in the universe would you start this sort of drive that way? Don’t you at least have to take a look (and probably take a shot) at receivers running patterns out wide with a chance to either get out of bounds or to pick up enough yards that it doesn’t really matter if they get out of bounds?
Isn’t that why Cutler is here? Because he has the arm strength to complete those kinds of passes? And it wasn’t just that he threw the ball to Olsen at that point, it was that he didn’t even look out wide, just as Cutler didn’t even look wide on a failed third down at the 10 earlier in the game when he successfully avoided a rush, moved forward with several options in front of him, but chose to zero in on Olsen and try to force one in to the tight end despite double coverage that sure enough foiled the scoring attempt and forced a field goal. Nice. And of course that play reminded us of the final play of consequence in the previous Bears contest, when Cutler moved forward to avoid the 49er rush, declined to even consider receivers out wide and fired his fifth interception up the middle in the vicinity of Olsen.
It is becoming more and more apparent that Ron Turner will be trying not to let the door hit him in the ass at the end of the season. But a change at offensive coordinator and not at head coach and general manager sets up a troublesome scenario. Lovie brings in a new offensive coordinator for the 2010 season and he and Cutler scramble to install a completely new system. Then the Bears fail again (why would we be optimistic after three straight lame seasons?), Lovie and Jerry are fired and a whole new crew is brought in. Three systems in three years is an NFL nightmare. Hey Ted Phillips, you need to make a run at Mike Shanahan the day after the season ends. Offer him whatever he wants for gosh sakes. Eat the Angelo and Lovie contracts because you can, because you were 20 million under the player salary cap this season for goodness sakes. Get it done!
Bear Notes
There was a great deal of chatter this week about how it is the team’s fault that professional quarterbacks always suck around here. But the Bears hierarchy didn’t make Jay Cutler brutally overthrow Devin Hester on a wide open hitch-and-go in the first half of Sunday’s loss to the Eagles. And they didn’t have anything to do with Cutler air-mailing a bomb out beyond the reach of Johnny Knox in the second half.
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The majority of the time the Eagles ran the ball on Sunday, there was at least a crease in the line or a surge to run behind. The majority of times Bear running backs took handoffs, there was nothing. Is it that offensive Ron Turner’s run calls are too conservative and predictable? Or is it that the Bears linemen aren’t good enough?
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A couple more third-and-huges converted again against the Bears Sunday. “I couldn’t defend third-and-long” is in the running for a prominent spot on Lovie’s coaching tombstone.
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The best play of the night wasn’t Kahlil Bell’s long first-half run in and of itself, it was what Knox did during Bell’s run. Knox turned on the jets when he saw Bell zip past him and managed to get back in front of Bell in time to engage in his second block of the play. The rookie wide receiver didn’t quite spring Bell for a touchdown but he did help him get an additional 15 yards and his effort should have been inspirational. Too bad the Bears and Lovie just can’t seem to do “inspiration.”
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Jim Coffman rounds up the sports weekend in this space every Monday. He welcomes your comments.
Posted on November 23, 2009