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By Jim Coffman

With 30-some seconds remaining in the first half, Charles Tillman moved forward with his head up, spread his arms, drove his shoulder into the midsection of the Packer wide receiver who had just made a short reception, and took him down. It was the Bears’ first form tackle . . . of the game. The contest went from embarrassment to utter humiliation in the second half, but the first 30 minutes were worse because not a single Bear could execute the skill upon which all defense is based. As Packer running back Ryan Grant bounced off one pathetic tackle attempt after another (and bounced back from the only memorable hit of the day – Mike Brown’s atomic bomb blast late in the first quarter), he knocked away all the artifice and exposed the Bears defense as it truly is – completely deficient.


The situation cries out for major changes and here’s a start: much more hitting in practice. Now Lovie, I know you worry your precious little players will get hurt but . . . they can’t tackle. Did I mention they can’t tackle? Be embarrassed about that, coach! We know you think it’s weak to allow anyone to see any emotion, especially emotion as embarrassing as well, embarrassment. But if you aren’t ashamed of your defense’s fundamental flaw, then pretty soon you’ll have to stop pretending you’re the right man for this job.
I’m afraid I do have a few more complaints:
* Another quick fix is to get safety Kevin Payne off the field. It is old news that Payne is one of the worst tacklers ever seen in these parts (Bears radio analyst Tom Thayer began pointing it out much earlier this season). He never, ever wraps up opposing ball carriers (and he never covers receivers either, but we’re focusing on tackling today). My personal favorite from his first half lowlight reel was during one of Grant’s big early runs, when he dove forward at where he guessed the ball-carrier would be, missed by several yards, and in the process smashed into teammate Nick Roach. In so doing, he not only ensured his speedy, pursuing teammate would have no shot at taking Grant down, he also almost sent Roach to the sideline with an injury. On the other hand we would have welcomed a Bear lineman trying to turn himself into a human missile. Sure, he probably would have missed the tackle as well but at least that would have meant he hadn’t been pancaked by whichever Packer lineman happened to be on point during that particular play.
* At the other safety spot, many observers were surprised when the Bears brought Mike Brown back for another season this fall despite so many injuries during the previous three seasons. He now appears to be the only Bear (including linebackers) who can race up to the line of scrimmage and make any kind of effective play on a ball-carrier when a first down or at least a big gain is still in doubt (unless they commit too many guys exclusively to run-defense like they did against Tennessee). Brown’s return now stands as just about the only thing the Bears have been absolutely right about on defense this fall.
* The Dusty Dvoracek and Tommie Harris “Isn’t it neat they played defensive tackle together in college at Oklahoma and now they’re playing together in the pros” era ended late in the second quarter when they were absolutely obliterated on the Ryan Grant touchdown run that made it 14-3. Obliterated. They should never play together again. Somebody has to be stronger than these guys, even in this system. Under-sized defensive tackles who are supposed to out-quick opponents are one of Lovie’s true loves, but if it wasn’t obvious last week this wasn’t working when the Bears never managed a sniff of an up-the-middle pass rush against Tennessee, it certainly was obvious when the Packers did whatever they wanted on Sunday.
* Every Bear unit was awful on Sunday. Hunter Hillenmeyer was out of the starting linebacking lineup despite being healthy enough to suit up. So that meant he had special teams duties, where he made news only once – a holding penalty on Devin Hester’s best return of the day. As for the marquis linebackers, well, is it the money that has ruined Brian Urlacher and Lance Briggs? Actually I would argue Urlacher is the same as he ever was the last half-dozen years. Before that he was the lightning-fast sideline-to-sideline dervish tracking down the likes of an in-his prime Michael Vick. But he hasn’t been quite that fast in a long time. He had a surge late last season, making it seem as though he had finally found something close to full health and the performance that came with it. But he can’t seem to make more than one or two big plays a game this time around, and teams run right at him time after time after time. On the other hand, Briggs, he of the trashed Lamborghini and other excesses, seems a perfect candidate for “got the big contract-stopped trying as hard” status.
* The secondary is in absolute disarray. You would think someone would have taught these guys by now that at the very beginning of a play in Lovie’s Tampa-2 set, you are responsible for a zone and only a zone, but that once a play progresses just a bit, you have to find receivers and figure out how to get between them and the ball. So many times on Sunday – and really, all season – Bears cornerbacks and safeties seemed to content to just sit in their zones. And top cornerbacks Nathan Vasher and Tillman . . . at some point, Lovie, you have to remember you paid these guys all sorts of money because they can at least occasionally cover guys man-to-man. And you have to let them do that in order to generate more pass rush, and you have to resign yourselves to Vasher and Tillman occasionally messing it up and getting beat deep. Of course, the deep pass is a low percentage play and more often than not will result in an incompletion no matter how open the receiver is.
* That was why that second-down play in the final minute in the first half, the one that resulted in the incompletion that ensured the Packers would get the ball back with plenty of time to get into field goal range, was so mind-bogglingly ill-advised. We can perhaps accept a pass in that situation to try to shake up a game that was going so wrong, but at least make it a pass the team has a decent chance to complete. The Bears still should have run the ball to force the Pack to take its last timeout and to ensure they wouldn’t get the ball back after the Bears ran on the next play as well. But a low-percentage pass deep down the sideline to a tightly covered Devin Hester – a pass that even had he caught it, he almost certainly would have come down out of bounds? That was just grim.
* On several occasions in the second half, cameras showed a clueless Lovie standing on the sideline with no emotion, no visible mental exertion of any kind, heck, no talking. It has been asked before regarding former Raider coach Art Shell, but Lovie, why do you wear that headset if you never talk into it? And what was that in the coach’s hand that he kept looking at in between plays? Was it a prayer card?
* As for the offense, the less said the better. Kyle Orton clearly wasn’t ready to play – yet another blown call by the coach. And it is becoming more and more apparent that while Matt Forte is rock-solid carrying and catching the ball, he is far from special. When the Packers covered Bears tight ends who lined up wide with extra cornerbacks, it was clear the Bears didn’t know how to respond. And they never did.
* Here’s one last idea that is slightly more radical than the rest: how about moving Urlacher to strong safety and Briggs to middle linebacker? Urlacher played strong safety in college and it has been clear for a long time that his primary strength is pass coverage. He can’t be any worse back there than Payne. And maybe the spot in the middle will wake up Briggs. Of course, first we have to wake his coach.

Jim Coffman brings you the city’s best weekend sports roundup every Monday because he loves you. You can write to him personally! Please include a real name if you would like your comments to be considered for publication.

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Posted on November 17, 2008