Another Beachwood Special Report
“A judge told a suburban man to stay away from Wrigley Field after allegedly getting rowdy, mouthing off to ballpark security and scuffling with guards at Sunday’s game,” DNAinfo Chicago reports.
“You can’t go to Wrigley Field this summer,” Cook County Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr. told 20-year-od Daniel Krupa of Lemont.
The Beachwood has learned, however, that scuffling with guards was not the only reason why Krupa got banned. Our findings:
* Wearing a Jeff Baker jersey just too lame.
* Smuggled in Old Style Light.
* Warmed up in the bullpen.
* His real name is Ian Stewart.
* Kept taunting Kris Bryant by calling him Jerry.
* Right field sucks.
* Claimed he was the real Edwin Jackson.
* Knows too much.
* Kept yelling “Give me the designated hitter or give me death!”
* Voted for Obama.
* Lemont residents not target market.
* Hacked Jumbotron to show 30 seconds of Philadelphia.
* PEDs
* Selling bootleg copies of Todd Ricketts on Undercover Boss.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on May 19, 2015