By Carl Mohrbacher
I’m getting tired of hearing “Go Cubs Go” after wins at home. Got any suggestions for winning Cubs theme songs?
-Eddie V, Seattle WA
You’re tired of it after having heard it just 10 times this year?
Why do we still have interleague play?
-Darien, Darien IL
So we can watch the blossoming Diamondbacks/Twins rivalry on MLB Network for $100 per season.
I just got cable and I get the feeling the ESPN [Editors Note: not a typo. Tom actually wrote “the ESPN”] likes to talk about teams from Boston and New York. Am I on to something?
-Tom, Under A Rock
One could get that impression after watching the Cubs/Red Sox broadcast on Sunday, but the Eastern Sports Propaganda Network swears there is no geographical bias in its editorial voice. Just like its parent company swears that its founder didn’t hate Jews . . . he just had a coincidental habit of being the only studio head willing to screen movies by Leni Riefenstahl in the 30’s and personally signed off on Der Fuehrer’s Face (1943), the short that showcases Donald Duck as a Nazi.
Are the call-ups really the result of injuries or are we watching the Cubs do some kind of extended tryout for 2012?
-Kyle, Lisle IL
The Cubs 25-man major league roster is starting to look like someone has been playing Franchise Mode on Madden for 10 seasons (i.e., players like Hines Cutler and D’Brickashaw Culpepper start showing up in your drafts). That being said, I don’t think Marlon Byrd was taking a ruptured optical socket for the team so the Ricketts could get a good look at Lou Montanez.
What do you know. Another home game played in misty crap from the sky [received during the May 25th game vs. the Mets]. Can we please put a retractable roof over Wrigley?
-Eugene, Carol Stream IL
Until I can take a piss in something other than a device that was literally designed to feed livestock, or possibly to store tripe, Chicago weather feels like a campaign problem to me.
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Send your comments or questions to Carl!
Posted on May 26, 2011