By Steve Rhodes
Once again the sharpest minds at Beachwood HQ have come together to produce the nation’s best brackets. Watch for updates after every round.
Championship Monday
North Carolina vs. Michigan State. If you played your bracket the Beachwood way, you’ve already clinched no matter what happens tonight. Don’t say we never made you any money.
Final Four
Michigan State vs. Connecticut. After UConn gives the Spartans a whooping, MSU will be laid off to balance the state budget.
North Carolina vs. Villanova. The run ends here for ‘Nova as NC positions itself to win bucco Obama stimulus bucks.
Elite Eight
Louisville vs. Michigan State. This is so where the road ends for the Spartans. Michigan returns its focus to making crappy cars – soon on the government’s dime.
Connecticut vs. Missouri. Missouri is the only team in the Elite Eight that I did not pick to be there. So they must die. Plus, UConn looks awfully good. Starting to wonder about picking Louisville to beat them in the Final Four.
Pittsburgh vs. Villanova. Villanova takes one more step before North Carolina overwhelms them.
North Carolina vs. Oklahoma. NC is two steps away from delivering the Beachwood Brackets to victories in both its pools.
Sweet Sixteen
MIDWEST
Louisville vs. Arizona. Arizona’s iced tea is good and cheap, but we preferred Wake Forest. Besides, Louisville is the real deal.
Kansas vs. Michigan State. We’re not saying it’s gonna be easy, but Kansas is still rebuilding after that tornado wiped out Wakita.
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WEST
Connecticut vs. Purdue. Recruiting scandal could distract UConn, sure. But Purdue’s run ends here as Big Ten weakness is exposed once again.
Missouri vs. Memphis. Memphis is just a little cooler, a little more rock ‘n’ roll, a little bit more Southern rock mixed with the hip-hop. Missouri is very Arizona and Kansas.
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EAST
Pittsburgh vs. Xavier. Coach Wanny can’t win the big one, but the big one will come on Saturday against Villanova. Plus, Xavier is whack.
Villanova vs. Duke. It’s all about ‘Nova, dudes and babies. At least until it’s all about NC.
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SOUTH
North Carolina vs. Gonzaga. We don’t like rooting for NC, but tournament rule number one is that you pick with your head, not your heart. Tournament rule number two is that you don’t talk about Tournament Club.
Syracuse vs. Oklahoma. Barry Switzer’s boys will be ready. The Orange have gone as far as they can go. Plus, Oklahoma takes the Southern rock, mixes it with the hip-hop, and adds a little cowboy.
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Second Round
MIDWEST
Louisville vs. Siena. Siena did the job for me against Ohio State – barely. This is where the ride ends.
Arizona vs. Cleveland State. How can you not root for Cleveland State? They’re nasty. And they’ll win, too.
Dayton vs. Kansas. Kansas too much for the Flyers.
USC vs. Michigan State. I really thought BC would be here, but you never know with the BCS. Spartans, baby.
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WEST
Connecticut vs. Texas A&M. UConn has a date with Memphis it intends to keep.
Purdue vs. Washington. Purdue has a date with UConn it intends to keep.
Marquette vs. Missouri. Marquette dashed my Utah State upset pick by a measly point. All I can do now is predict revenge via Mizzou.
Maryland vs. Memphis. Memphis got a scare, but history shows scares aren’t necessarily portentious. Oh, and Memphis has a date with UConn it intends to keep.
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EAST
PIttsburgh vs. Oklahoma State. Pitt still has a few games left in ’em.
Wisconsin vs. Xavier. Bucky Badger is killing me. I went with my head and not my heart, and look what Florida State did to me, blowing a Sweet Sixteen pick because they couldn’t beat a mediocre Big Team, cool campus notwithstanding. I look for Xavier to win this and give Pitt a hard time before bowing out.
UCLA vs. Villanova. Nova, baby. Nova.
Texas vs. Duke. Unlike Wisconsin, Minnesota behaved like it should have in ceding its game to the Aggies. Now Duke takes it one more round.
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SOUTH
North Carolina vs. LSU. One thing I have in common with the president: I picked NC to win it all too.
Western Kentucky vs. Gonzaga. Gonzaga, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy – until they pull away at the end.
Arizona State vs. Syracuse. The Orange are not to be underestimated. For one more round.
Michigan vs. Oklahoma. Okay, maybe I underestimated the Big Ten, but Oklahoma is too much for Big Blue.
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First Round
MIDWEST
Louisville vs. Play-In Winner. Play-in winners typically get played right out of the tournament in the first few minutes of their first real game, and this year will be no exception. Louisville may feel the pressure of being the tourney favorite in later rounds, but not today.
Ohio State vs. Siena. We’re generally against schools named after colors, but Siena will ride a hot streak roughshod over overrated Ohio State.
Utah vs. Arizona. Arizona is even weaker than usual while Utah will represent.
Wake Forest vs. Cleveland State. Wake Forest is nasty, while Cleveland State is just plain nasty.
West Virginia vs. Dayton. The Mountaineers’ Bob Huggins is a louse, but won’t see his reckoning until round two against Kansas. Don’t even think about a Dayton upset.
Kansas vs. North Dakota State. There’s a North Dakota State? And they play basketball? Ride Kansas for a couple of rounds.
Boston College vs. USC. BC on a last-second tip-in.
Michigan State vs. Robert Morris. Our Robert Morris? That can’t be right. Now, if they played North Dakota State . . . but against MSU, no, no, no.
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WEST
Connecticut vs. Chattanooga. Chattanooga is so fun to say, but it’s not gonna happen, folks.
BYU vs. Texas A&M. I was just thinking, if BYU ever faced up against Utah, who would Chet from the Real World root for? Probably the team with the most virgins. Still, the Aggies aren’t up to the task here.
Purdue vs. Northern Iowa. I once lived in Cedar Falls and find it hard to believe that school produces NCAA-worthy teams, but more than that Purdue is one of two Big Ten teams – MSU being the other – with a chance to go deep in this tournament. So Boilermakers.
Washington vs. Mississippi State. Washington wins in a way that won’t even be funny.
Marquette vs. Utah State. Wait, there’s a Utah State as well as a Utah and a BYU? And they’re all in the tournament? What in the world is going on out there in the salt flats? The funny thing is that Utah State will win this game.
Missouri vs. Cornell. Missouri on the march.
California vs. Maryland. The Terrapins pull off a minor upset.
Memphis vs. Cal State-Northridge. Maybe if it was Illinois State-Norridge there’d be a chance for an upset, but no.
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EAST
Pittsburgh vs. East Tennessee State. I know a Pittsburgh-Louisville finale is popular, but it ain’t gonna happen. You’ll see why later, but that doesn’t mean Pittsburgh goes out early. Funny thing is, after East Tennessee State they’ll get Tennessee.
Oklahoma State vs. Tennessee. Pick ’em, but I pick Tenn.
Florida State vs. Wisconsin. I love all things Wisconsin, but FSU will be too much for the Badgers.
Xavier vs. Portland State. Xavier. And not just because I like saying it, or because it starts with an X. Portland State is a 13-seed for a reason, just as Xavier is a 4-seed for a reason.
UCLA vs. Virginia Commonwealth. The Commodores in a minor upset, and Lionel Richie has nothing to do with it.
Villanova vs. American. ‘Nova, dudes. Nova.
Texas vs. Minnesota. As much as I’d love to pick my alma mater, I frankly don’t see how they stand a chance against the Longhorns. Poor little Gophers.
Duke vs. Binghamton. Duh.
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SOUTH
North Carolina vs. Radforrd. Radford sucks.
LSU vs. Butler. Louisiana is a state, but Butler will squeak by.
Illinois vs. Western Kentucky. Illinois is a popular pick to be upset in the first round, and I agree. We can read all about the recriminations tomorrow.
Gonzaga vs. Akron. Gonzaga is no longer a surprise, sleeper or Cinderella, but they’re still good. Way too good for Akron.
Arizona State vs. Temple. ASU. Because they’re better.
Syracuse vs. Stephen F. Austin. Austin may be good, but there’s no way one guy beats Syracuse. The Orange are good.
Clemson vs. Michigan. Michigan sucks; Clemson less so.
Oklahoma vs. Morgan State. Don’t be ridiculous.
Posted on April 6, 2009