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The Beachwood’s Best Of Biden

By The Beachwood Biden Affairs Desk

Date: January 18, 2007
Article: The Trouble With Obama
What We Said: “No matter how some Democrats (though still not the majority) might like Obama, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, just to pick two, ought to be given a serious look because they are serious, experienced public policy leaders. If only our media was as serious.”
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Date: February 12, 2007
Article:The Obama Kool-Aid Report
What We Said: “A Joe Biden appearance on a Sunday morning news show has more poetry than this.”
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Date: April 27, 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: South Carolina
What We Said: “Biden’s worst mistake was overestimating the ability of the Bush Administration to carry out the Iraq war and underestimating its incompetence, or something. So, Joe, you want to be the president of the free world and have us place our trust in your ability to judge foreign leaders far more inscrutable than George W. Bush? Same for you, Hillary.”


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Date: June 4, 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: New Hampshire
What We Said:
SPRADLING: Senator Biden, question for you on Iraq. You are on the only person standing on this stage tonight to recently vote to continue funding the troops in Iraq. My question is this: why were Senators Obama, Clinton, Dodd and Congressman Kucinich wrong to vote against the funding? On Iraq, voted to fund war. Why others wrong?
BIDEN: No one has fought harder to change this president’s policy.
STEVE: He’s projecting really well.
BLITZER: Senator Biden, why are you reluctant to say now they were wrong and you were right?
BIDEN: Because I don’t want to judge them.
STEVE: You just want voters to judge them – guilty!
BLITZER: Senator Biden, you voted last year to support this immigration legislation, including the construction of an approximately 700-mile fence along the border between the United States and Mexico. Governor Richardson doesn’t think there needs to be such a fence. Why is he wrong?
BIDEN: Well, he’s not wrong. There doesn’t need to be a 700-mile fence . . .
BLITZER: If you don’t think there needs to be a fence, why did you vote for that legislation?
BIDEN: The reason I voted for the fence was that was the only alternative that was there, and I voted for the fence related to drugs. You can – a fence will stop 20 kilos of cocaine coming through that fence. It will not stop someone climbing over it or around it.
ANDREW: It’s a fence that just stops cocaine. The drug fence.
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Date: July 24, 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: YouTube Charleston
What We Said:
COOPER: Senator Biden, in the past, you’ve talked about NATO troops. What about American troops?
BIDEN: Absolutely, positively. Look, I’m so tired of this. Let’s get right to it. I heard the same arguments after I came back from meeting with Milosevic: We can’t act; we can’t send troops there. Where we can, America must. Why Darfur? Because we can. We should now. Those kids will be dead by the time the diplomacy is over.
(APPLAUSE)
I’m not joking. I’ve been to that camp. I walked through that camp. You know what happened when I landed? When I landed and the dust settled, a young African aid worker came up to me and he looked at me and he said, “Thank you. Thank you, America, for coming.” You don’t understand – they don’t understand. They think we can save them.

COOPER: Senator Biden, how do we pull out now? That was the question.
BIDEN: Anderson, you’ve been there. You know we can’t just pull out now. Let’s get something straight. It’s time to start to tell the truth.
TIM: Everything up to now has been a lie.
BIDEN: The truth of the matter is: If we started today, it would take one year, one year to get 160,000 troops physically out of Iraq, logistically. That’s number one.
Number two, you cannot pull out of Iraq without the follow-on that’s been projected here, unless you have a political solution. I’m the only one that’s offered a political solution. And it literally means separate the parties; give them jurisdiction in their own areas; have a decentralized government, a federal system. No central government will work.
And, thirdly, the fact of the matter is, the very thing everybody’s quoting is the very legislation I wrote in January. It said: Begin to draw down combat troops now; get the majority of the combat troops out by March of ’08.

QUESTION: By what date after January 21st, 2009, will all U.S. troops be out of Iraq? And how many family members do you have serving in uniform?
BIDEN: Number one, there is not a single military man in this audience who will tell this senator he can get those troops out in six months if the order goes today.
Let’s start telling the truth. Number one, you take all the troops out. You better have helicopters ready to take those 3,000 civilians inside the Green Zone where I have been seven times and shot at. You better make sure you have protection for them, or let them die, number one.
So we can’t leave them there. And it’s going to take a minimum 5,000 troops to 10,000 just to protect our civilians. So while you’re taking them out, Governor, take everybody out. That may be necessary.
Number three, the idea that we all voted – except for me – for that appropriation. That man’s son is dead. For all I know, it was an IED. Seventy percent of all the deaths occurred have been those roadside bombs. We have money in that bill to begin to build and send immediately mine-resistant vehicles that increase by 80 percent the likelihood none of your cadets will die, General. And they all voted against it.
How in good conscience can you vote not to send those vehicles over there as long as there’s one single, solitary troop there?

QUESTION: Hey, there, my name’s Jackie Broyles. And I’m Dunlap [2nd person on video; both are yukkin’ it up hillbilly style]. We’re from Red State Update. Murfreesboro, Tennessee. This here question’s for all you candidates. Mainstream media seems awfully interested in old Al Gore these days. Is he losing weight? What’s it say in his book? Is he still worried about all the ice? They interpret all these as signs that he may or may not run. They really want to know if Al Gore’s going to run again. Yes. Well, what we want to know is does that hurt you-all’s feelings?
(APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER)
COOPER: Anybody have their feelings hurt?
BIDEN: Anderson . . .
COOPER: Yes?
BIDEN: I think the people of Tennessee just had their feelings hurt.
STEVE: Hey, we’ll do the snappy retorts, Joe.

COOPER: We’re going to take a short break. We’re going to go to break with a YouTube-style video from Senator Biden’s campaign.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: Imagine you’re trapped deep in a hole with a group of politicians debating. President Bush says the only way out of Iraq is to dig us deeper and deeper. But what if one leader stood up for us and said no, we can get out now, without leaving chaos behind?
ANDREW: We’ll stand on top of each other.
STEVE: What is a YouTube style campaign video – a candidate’s cat on a skateboard? They’re campaign ads!

BIDEN: I don’t have Barack Obama money either. My net worth is $70,000 to $150,000. That’s what happens you get elected at 29. I couldn’t afford to stay in the Congress for the minimum wage. But if I get a second job, I’d do it.
TIM, ANDREW, STEVE: [Discussion ensues about whether Joe Biden can really have such a relatively low net worth. We conclude he can’t. Or maybe he needs credit counseling.]

QUESTION: My name is Jered Townsend from Clio, Michigan. To all the candidates, tell me your position on gun control, as myself and other Americans really want to know if our babies are safe. This is my baby, purchased under the 1994 gun ban. Please tell me your views.
COOPER: Senator Biden, are you going to be able to keep his baby safe?
BIDEN: I’ll tell you what, if that is his baby, he needs help.
(APPLAUSE)
I think he just made an admission against self-interest. I don’t know that he is mentally qualified to own that gun. I’m being serious. Look, just like me, we go around talking about people who own guns. I am the guy who originally wrote the assault weapons ban . . .
COOPER: Time.
BIDEN: Anyway . . .
(APPLAUSE)
COOPER: We got one more question. Before . . .
BIDEN: . . . I hope he doesn’t come looking for me.

BIDEN: I don’t like a damn thing about him. I – no, I’m only kidding. Only kidding. Dennis and I have been friends for 25 years. I think this is a ridiculous exercise. Dennis, the thing I like best about you is your wife.
STEVE: Uh-oh. This question is Gaffe City.
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Date: August 8, 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: Soldier Field
What We Said:
BIDEN: I’m the only one on this stage that has a detailed political plan how to get out. Separate the parties. Let them be in regions.
STEVE: Like the NCAAs. There can be a civil war every March.
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Date: August 20, 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: ABC
What We Said:
BIDEN: Look, the fundamental disagreement I have with my colleagues up here is that . . .
TIM: I shouldn’t be president.
ANDREW: My hair is not real.
BIDEN: Look, we’ve had 20,000 Western troops in a place where there’s more sectarian violence – from Vlad the Impaler to Milosevic – than in 5,000 years of history in Iraq.
And what did we do? We separated the parties. There’s not one single troop has been killed, not one, in the last 10 years. There is peace. There is a circumstance where the genocide is ended. They’re becoming part of Europe.
Every troop must be out over time if there is not a political agreement.

BIDEN: Tomorrow morning at 9 o’clock, my wife will walk into a classroom and teach for the 30th year in a row. And the one thing any teacher can tell you is that . . .
STEVE: These students are getting worse every year.
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Date: September 27, 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: Russert
What We Said: “Biden continues to be a really smart guy who seems to be just temperamentally off in some way – and the idea of making him Secretary of State is laughable. He’s not a diplomat. He is a quarterback, no doubt about that. But not a president.”
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Date: October 10. 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Republican Theater: Dearborn
What We Said:
BROWNBACK: This Friday, Joe Biden and I are getting together in Des Moines and we’re going to be talking about the political side, a three-state solution in Iraq. This is what ultimately is going to happen. You’re going to have a Kurdish north, a Sunni west, a Shia south, within one country, federalism with a weak federal government, the federal government headquartered in Baghdad.
TIM: So you from Des Moines out there, if you’re looking for a good time Friday night, come see me and Biden talking about federalism.
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Date: October 31, 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: Philadephia
What We Said:
TIM: If you put a fluffy white beard on Joe Biden, he’s a dead ringer for Kenny Rogers.
STEVE: Or Kenny Loggins.

BIDEN: Rudy Giuliani. I mean, think about it. Rudy Giuliani. There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun and a verb and 9/11.
TIM: He’s copping our shit, man.
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Date: November 16, 2007
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: Las Vegas
What We Said:
CLINTON: You know, Senator Edwards raised health care again. When Senator Edwards ran in 2004, he wasn’t for universal health care.
TIM: He wasn’t even for himself for president. He was for John Kerry. Talk about a flip-flopper.
BLITZER: I want Senator Biden to weigh in.
BIDEN: Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
BLITZER: I want you to weigh in.
BIDEN: Don’t do it. No. Don’t make me speak.
BLITZER: What do you think about this exchange among Democrats?
BIDEN: Hey, look, let’s get to it, folks. The American people don’t give a darn about any of this stuff that’s going on up here.
ANDREW: He’s getting all Mike Gravel on their ass.
BIDEN: Look, they’re sitting down at their table tonight, they’ve put their kids to bed, and they’re worrying about whether or not their child’s going to run into a drug dealer on the way to school.
They’re worrying about whether or not they’re going to be able to pay for their mortgage, because even if they didn’t have one of those subprime mortgages, things are looking bad for them. They’re worrying about whether they’re going to keep their job. And they’re worrying about whether their son in the National Guard is going to get killed in Iraq.
STEVE: But they’re not interested in health care?
BIDEN: Ladies and gentlemen, look, every political campaign gets to this place. And I’m not criticizing any of the three people who are the ones who always get to talk all the time at these events. (LAUGHTER)
I’m not. I’m not. I’m not criticizing. But look, folks, let’s get straight to it here. This is not about experience, it’s not about change, it’s about action.
Who among us is going to be able to on day one step in, end the war. Who among us understands what to do about Pakistan? Who among us is going to pick up the phone and immediately interface with Putin and tell him to lay off Georgia because Saakashvili is in real trouble? Who among us knows what they’re doing?
I have 35 years of experience. While everyone’s talking about their experience – and Hillary has a great experience, and John and the rest of them – I was passing the Violence Against Women Act. I was passing the crime bill.

BROWN: Senator Biden, a question on Pakistan. As you know, in the past few weeks Pakistani leader Pervez Musharraf has declared a state of emergency there. He’s dismissed several Supreme Court justices. He has recently placed opposition leader Benazir Bhutto under house arrest twice now and imprisoned numerous other dissenters.
And I know you spoke with Musharraf last week. And you, along with several others on this stage, assert that the U.S. should maintain its current level of financial support for Pakistan. Is it your view that there are times when the security of the United States is more important than the way a key ally like Musharraf disregards freedom and disregards democracy?
TIM: Wouldn’t it be great if Biden said, You know, I really haven’t been following this Pakistan thing. Let’s got back to this merit pay stuff for teachers.
BIDEN: First of all, I do not think we should maintain the same aid we’re giving. I have made it clear to Musharraf personally, when he called me, and I’ve spoken personally to Bhutto – before, I might add, the president spoke to either one of them – I spoke to them and I indicated very clearly two things.
One, if he did not take off his uniform, if he did not hold fair and free elections by the middle of January, I would, on the floor of the Senate, move to take away the aid we’re giving with regard to F-16s and P-3s, because that’s the biggest leverage you have on him within his military. He is not a sole player. He has to keep his military happy as well. I would use that leverage.
TIM: What about all the torturing he’s done? Doesn’t he get credit for that?
BIDEN: Secondly, I’ve indicated that what we should do is move from a Musharraf policy to a Pakistan policy. Unlike anyone else, within five days of this happening I laid out a detailed plan. The president hasn’t. No one on this stage has.

BIDEN: Look, it’s not the agreement; it’s the man. Under the WTO, we can shut this down. What are they all talking about here? It’s about a president who won’t enforce the law. When they contaminated chicken, what happened? They cut off all chickens going in from Delaware – a $3 billion industry – into China. They cut it off. We have power under the – this agreement. I don’t know what anybody’s talking about here. Enforce the agreement.
STEVE: Biden can’t believe he’s losing to these people.

“Biden may not be temperamentally suited to be president, but he’s smart and speaks clearly, directly and forcefully. He does have a plan. Many plans, in fact.”
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Date: November 16, 2007
Article: The [Friday] Papers
What We Said: “Joe Biden is super smart and fun to watch and listen to. I’m not sure he should be president, but he should be something.”
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Date: December 27, 2007
Article: The [Thursday] Papers
What We Said:“The New York Times forgets to interview its own editors while it searches for mysterious reasons why Joe Biden hasn’t gotten a fair hearing for such a serious man.
“‘Mr. Biden’s supporters will tell you that this is all the media’s fault for not covering him more – much the same argument you hear from Bill Richardson and Christopher Dodd’s supporters, too,’ Matt Bai writes. ‘This has some validity, but personally, I think Mr. Biden is less a victim of the media itself than of the distinct political culture that we in the media have wrought. Ten years of endless blather about the game of politics on cable TV have trained the most engaged American voters to handicap candidates rather than hear them, to pontificate about who might win rather than deciding whom they actually want to win. Voters seem to approach politics increasingly as pundits, and they look to poll numbers to tell them who’s electable and who isn’t, never stopping to realize that they are the ones who get to decide.’
“That’s just insane on so many levels my head is spinning too fast to comment further.”
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Date: January 8, 2008
Article: The [Tuesday] Papers
What We Said: “Joe Biden on WashingtonPost.com, via The Economist: ‘John [Edwards] doesn’t have a record in the Senate. John’s only passed four bills. They’re all about post offices. I mean, literally.'”
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Date: January 9, 2008
Article: Mystery Debate Theater: New Hampshire Primary Edition
What We Said: “Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell suggests an Obama/Biden ticket. I don’t think Biden could stomach that, and it certainly doesn’t scream change to put a veteran Washington senator on the bill. Obama would have to choose a plausible outsider.”
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Date: August 14, 2008
Article: The Political Odds
What We Said:“Barack Obama picks Joe Biden as his running mate: 5 percent. Holding steady. Biden wants to partition Iraq.”
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And from Division Street:
Date: July 14, 2008
Post: Left Out
What I Wrote: “Interesting aside: Those voting against the FISA bill include not just Hillary Clinton, but John Kerry, Dick Durbin and Harry Reid, among others. And in the veep watch, Joe Biden and Chris Dodd – neither of whom has a chance to be put on the ticket in my view – voted Nay. Evan Bayh, who I think has a very good chance, voted Yea.”
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Date: August 22, 2008
Post: How the Veepsters Roll
What I Wrote: “With the Obama campaign keeping us in high suspense today, let’s take a look at the contenders.
1. JOE BIDEN. Joe Biden? I happen to be a Joe Biden fan. He’s super-smart, has a great sense of humor, and knows foreign countries down to the block level. But if you put him on the ticket, you’ll have to spend valuable time and energy cleaning up after him. And truthfully, he creates a stature gap, because he’s bigger than Obama. Also, the idea of him as Secretary of State is a laugh. He’s not what I would call a diplomat. Funny, though, how the pundits who dismissed his presidential run from the get-go have suddenly discovered his virtues.”

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Posted on August 25, 2008