By The Beachwood’s Special Queeglings Correspondent
You heard these here first!!:
QUEEGLINGS / The Canine Scrootening / GunButt Diplomacy
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DaleyTube 1.
DaleyTube2.
“If I put this up your butt, you’ll find out how effective it is. Let me put a round up your, you know . . . Maybe they’ll see the light of day . . . Maybe one of them (the Supreme Court Justices) will have an incident, and they’ll change their mind overnight, going to and from work.” Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley / May 20, 2010
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Daley Apologizes, Second City Cop:
“Have you ever seen the look on some dork’s face when he sees the bra advertisements in the Sears catalog? Or Butthead from Beavis & Butt-head grinning and chanting ‘fire, fire fire!'”
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Captain Queeg:
“It quickly becomes apparent that Queeg is prone to eccentric behavior.”
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The Mayor’s the One Missing the Point
Posted by Mick Dumke on Fri, May 21, 2010 at 4:39 PM
“Mayor Daley wants to make one thing clear: it’s my fault that he lost his cool yesterday and offered to sodomize and shoot me for asking a question about violence in the city. A little while ago the mayor told reporters that he was merely trying to teach a lesson to me and the rest of the press corps about how dangerous guns are, since it was clear from my question that we don’t get it. ‘I want to shock you, maybe scare you to realize, this is serious,’ he said. ‘I want you to be as passionate as I am.’ Yesterday mayoral press secretary Jackie Heard put it more coherently, as she always does: ‘The person asking the question was missing the point that unrestricted guns are a devastating issue.’ Actually, they’re missing the point, and they’re of course doing it on purpose. They want to miss the point. You don’t have to fire a gun to shoot the messenger.”
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Aggravated Assault, Second City Cop:
“Leaving aside the fact that he stopped making sense by the fourth line, did he just threaten to stick a rifle up a reporter’s ass? That’s Aggravated Assault . . . At the very least, Shortshanks ought to be in for a 72-hour evaluation.”
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Mayor Daley Regrets . . . Huffington Post:
“There’s no better illustration of his intolerance for debate, dissension, and transparency than his decision to hold a gun up and joke about shooting a journalist.”
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Police Officer Slain As The Mayor Embarrasses Himself And His City, John Kass:
“A reporter asked the obvious question: Given the numbers of shootings in the city, isn’t the handgun ban ineffective?The question was more than fair. In Chicago, the only people who are confident in their 2nd Amendment rights to bear arms are the criminals, the cops and the politicians . . . Confronted with a logical question, here’s what the mayor did: He picked up a rifle from the prop table of guns, raised it and began to babble. ‘It’s been very effective,’ said Daley of the handgun ban. ‘If I put this up your butt, you’ll find out how effective it is. Let me put a round up your, you know.’ The mayor of Chicago then went on to say if the justices were attacked by thugs with guns, they’d see things his way. ‘Maybe they’ll see the light of day,’ Daley said. ‘Maybe one of them will have an incident, and they’ll change their mind overnight, going to and from work.’ . . . Daley has been a bully his entire life, a child of muscle and privilege, and now he’s terrified at the prospect that his citizens might think he’s lost control of the streets. The police despise him. Their department is terribly understaffed and overworked. Taxpayers want more cops. But there’s no money for additional police because Daley wasted it all, hundreds of millions of dollars year after year after year on deals for his cronies.”
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The [Friday] Papers, Steve Rhodes:
“As I was thinking about how to write-up today’s column about the latest goofiness from our mayor, my mind drifted back to last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York City. Stay with me on this. The ‘housewives’ finally realized last night that castmate Kelly Bensimon is stone-cold crazy. Now, I’ve never thought that Richard M. Daley was crazy. Just venal. And when I first read about his ‘joke’ – or whatever it was – about putting a rifle up Reader reporter Mick Dumke’s butt yesterday and pulling the trigger, well, I just figured it was Daley being Daley. You know, an asshole. But the rest of the mayor’s comments make less sense than Bensimon thinking her fellow housewives are channeling Satan and trying to kill her . . . The Daley Show. It really isn’t funny..”
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Comments welcome.
Posted on May 24, 2010