By The Beachwood Employment Services Desk
Given that he’s on the verge of being unemployed, we’ve got some suggestions for his next gig.
* Fishmonger.
* Arby’s. He’s a legacy.
* Uber driver. They seem to like creepy characters.
* Next Celebrity Apprentice host. So he can fire people every week.
* Emo band leader. Alienated white guy from the suburbs – perfect!
* Host of Meet The Press. Where, for the first time, he will actually meet the press.
* Ditch digger. Because he’d probably get some sort of twisted glee out of it.
* Speed camera lens polisher. Because he’d probably get some sort of twisted glee out of it.
* Divvy tire inflator. He’s used to inflating things – stats, his ego, his accomplishments . . .
* Reality show star. “Follow one man’s journey In Search of Chicago’s Infrastructure Trust!”
* Information broker. He’s got all your data via Ventra.
* Head groundskeeper, Obama Library.
* Contestant, Tiny Dancing With The Stars.
* Taylor Swift’s boyfriend. Then she can write “Meaner.”
* Insult comic. He’s halfway there. The first half.
* Craps dealer. Tons of experience.
* Sitcom writer.
– Tom Chambers, Tim Willette, Mike Luce, Nick Shreders, Steve Rhodes
Comments welcome.
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1. From Ed Hammer:
* Greeter at Walmart. He can use the same “people person” skills he used as an investment banker at Wasserstein Perella.
* CPS primary teacher. Payback time.
Posted on February 27, 2015