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Mystery Quinn Theater

By Steve Rhodes

I couldn’t decide whether the governor was a schmuck or a schmo watching him evade nearly every question asked of him by the tag team of Phil Ponce and Carol Marin on Chicago Tonight last night. I did decide, though, that if he mentioned how good and strong the people of Illinois were one more time I was going to reach through the TV and show him how good and strong my chokehold was. We’re not schoolchildren.
Here’s a slight reconstruction of my notes, with some of my own commentary thrown in:
PONCE: Why does your budget proposal only make changes to future pension payouts, not current payouts?
QUINN: It’s easier to get legislative votes.
RHODES: Then why not double pension payouts? That’s even easier!


*
QUINN: Education is the last thing I want to cut . . .
RHODES: That’s why it’s the first cut I’m proposing!
QUINN: . . . but losing $1 billion in federal funds . . .
RHODES: So this is just to replace one-time stimulus money? Why not just add another Lotto game? Call it Schoolhouse Lotto. Or maybe a lottery game where the winning numbers are based on that day’s deficit.
PONCE: No one believes you, governor!
QUINN: . . . surcharge to replace federal money . . . the leaders and legislators are open-minded to our plan . . .
RHODES: Only to the extent that they’ll play along until you implode.
QUINN: [recitation of how good and strong the people of Illinois are, and how education is our future, yada yada yada]
RHODES: And I will not cut the unicorn budget either!
*
Questions asked that Quinn failed to answer, instead dodging and weaving with darting eyes talking about, you know, how good and strong the people of Illinois are.
– Why do you propose classroom cuts but not bureaucracy cuts?
– Your party as the governorship, the House, the Senate, and all the statewide constitutional offices. Are you embarrassed that Democrats can’t get anything done?
– What is Michael Madigan telling you?
– Mayor Daley has accused you of double-crossing him and other mayors by breaking your vow to protect aid to cities. Did you double-cross the mayor?
*
Quinn called Daley “a good friend.”
*
QUINN: It takes some fortitude, I think, to get into the arena and tell the public the truth.
RHODES: Though it takes even more to dodge and weave like I’m doing now. Notice how I’m filibustering to stall out the questioning. My advisors taught me that.
*
QUINN: I was revenue director for the City of Chicago . . .
RHODES: And you were fired! By Harold Washington! Didn’t you see the ad?
*
QUINN: I favor free [CTA] rides for seniors.
RHODES: How about free rides for all those teachers you’re pretending you’re going to lay off?
*
Ponce asks Quinn if he’s “risk-averse,” though I think by risk-averse he really meant “spineless.” Ponce mentioned Quinn backing down on the two University of Illinois board members who refused to resign, those free rides for seniors, keeping corrections chief Michael Randle despite the early-release scandal . . .
QUINN: No, no, no!
Quinn said that he’s been told the U of I now has the best board ever! And he helped pass tough ethics laws!
MARIN: But you backed off your own reform commission’s recommendations that would have reined in the power of legislative leaders Michael Madigan and John Cullerton . . .
QUINN: [talks about economic growth and small business tax credits instead]
*
Carol Marin asks Quinn about a recent poll showing a gender gap in favor of Republican opponent Bill Brady, who has an advantage in support from women. Quinn talks about . . . how good and strong the people of Illinois are, or some such nonsense, I started to lose consciousness.
*
After Quinn touts his grassroots heritage and fights for democracy, he says that finishing second in the primary doesn’t automatically qualify someone like, say, Art Turner, to be the lieutenant governor nominee.
QUINN: I’m going to pick somebody who is . . .
RHODES: . . . good and strong?
MARIN: You’re doing the picking?
RHODES: Yeah, isn’t that Governor Madigan’s job?
QUINN: I think my recommendation will be the one that’s picked by the committee.
RHODES: The grassroots committee or the reform committee? Oh, the Democratic committee!
*
Note: At one point during the interview, I proclaimed “This is Meet The Press!” Ponce and Marin should team up like this more often – like every night! It was refreshing. I wondered what it would have been like for them to have Daley in the hot seat, or any other number of folks. While each is talented on their own, the combined whole was even more than the sum of their parts.

Comments welcome.

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Posted on March 16, 2010