By Scott Buckner
1. Daley The Mayor (to Frosty The Snowman)
Daley the Mayor
Was a happy jolly soul
He had family ties, he’d gouge out your eyes
If you weren’t under his control
Daley the Mayor
Was unbeatable they say
Everyone in town had to gather ’round
Until he didn’t run one day
He said I’m out of magic ‘cuz
The Olympics are history
So I’ll just screw you with a sinking boat
And a bunch of misery
2. Silent Blight (to Silent Night)
Silent blight, good night cops, good night
All is calm, no gangs out tonight
Round up your cruisers, your truncheons, your guns
We need hundreds more of you, but Rich Daley is done
Patrol us in heavenly peace
Keep us in heavenly peace
3. I’m Turnin’ Bum (to O Tannenbaum)
I’m turnin’ bum, I’m turnin’ bum
No more unemployment extensions
I’m turnin’ bum, I’m turnin’ bum
Stock market fucked my pension
O Congress give, and take away
So now my kids will starve today
I’m turnin’ bum, I’m turnin’ bum
Our nation’s debt repaid
I’m turnin’ bum, I’m turnin’ bum
I’m eating dumpster mouses
I’m turnin’ bum, I’m turnin’ bum
And burglarizing houses
Foreclosure notice came to me
I wonder how this came to be
I’m turnin’ bum, I’m turnin’ bum
I’m really fucked this Christmas
4. We Thee Aldermen (to We Three Kings)
We thee group of aldermen are
Kissing ass whoever you are
If there’s an election, we’ve got an erection
Why not belly up to the bar?
O star of patrons, star of might
Star with loyal beauty bright
You’ll be bleeding while we’re be scheming
We don’t care, ‘cuz we’re in tight
5. O Come All Ye Faithful Aldermen
O come all ye faithful
To City Hall Chicago
O come ye, O come ye, Emanuel
Come and behold him,
You’ll sure be fucked not holdin’ him
No one is left to guide us,
No piper left to pipe for us,
No one left to decide us,
Emanuel, the Lord
6. Obama We Have Heard On High
Obama we have heard on high
He walks on water, Oprah’s high
Vote for Hope, the time is nigh
Now we’re fucked until we die
Gloria . . . in Obama!
Gloria . . . in Obama!
Congress who heard our cry
Slash and burn, who cares not why
Get this country back on track
Even if it’s on your back
Gloria . . . in Obama!
Gloria . . . in Obama!
7. God Rest Ye Merry Aldermen (to God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)
God rest ye merry aldermen
Your city’s turned to shit
250 million in the hole
You’re gonna dig us out of it?
We’d rather trust Beelzebub
To turn water into wine
God rest ye merry aldermen,
Godforsaken selfish swine
8. Chicago Public School Crock (to Jingle Bell Rock)
Go to school, go to school, God what a crock
Our public schools suck, the kids run amok
Superintendent’s political, no one cares a little
That’s the public school crock
Go to school, go to school, Christ what a joke
The unions all bitch and the system’s all broke
There’s a gang defector in the metal detector
That’s the public school crock
If you want change, then you’re deranged
The mayor has his way
So now the bell time is a swell time
To go shootin’, it won’t affect your grades
Go to school, go to school, that’s what they say
Change is gonna come
But even Abe Lincoln couldn’t do any thinkin’
We just get more of the . . .
Just get more of the . . .
Just get more of the same
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Comments welcome.
Posted on December 24, 2010