Chicago - A message from the station manager

Blago’s Defense Options

By The Beachwood Blago Defense Theory Affairs Desk

The Beachwood has learned that Rod Blagojevich’s legal team is considering the following defenses.
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I didn’t do it.
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That’s not me on the phone. It’s my twin brother.
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The glove doesn’t fit.
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My hair made me do it.


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It’s Mike Madigan’s fault.
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Couldn’t afford call girls to get caught with instead.
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I needed money for the divorce settlement.
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I bet the entire state budget on the Cubs to win the World Series and some very bad men have been threatening me.
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Wasn’t making ends meet selling Amway on the side.
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“Because I’m just really fucking stupid, okay?”
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It’s not illegal when the governor does it.
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I knew an all-Twinkie diet was a bad idea.
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Kendrick ordered the Code Red.
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He believed all of the callers were actually Miami talk radio hosts.
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Zambrano told me to do it.
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I was conducting my own investigation.
– Scott Buckner, Tim Willette, Rick Kaempfer, Steve Rhodes

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Posted on December 10, 2008