Chicago - A message from the station manager

Blago TV

By Scott Buckner

Our former governor’s future viewing schedule.
Midnight – 1 a.m.: Scrambled porn.
1 a.m. – 2 a.m.: More scrambled porn.
2 a.m. – 3 a.m.: Screw Talk with Lisa: No-mark billy club etiquette.
3 a.m. – 4 a.m.: Guard-TV: Advanced cavity and cell search techniques.
4 a.m. – 5 a.m.: Mass for shut-ins.


5 a.m. – 6 a.m.: Morning wake-up: Get Your Funk and Bunk Out with Rapmaster G
6 a.m. – 7 a.m.: Where’s Lindsay?
7 a.m. – 8 a.m.: Where’s Lindsay? Aftershow.
8 a.m. – 9 a.m.: Advanced Shankmaking with Norm Abrams.
9 a.m. – 10 a.m.: Oprah.
10 a.m. – 11 a.m: Chess and Checkers for Meals and Profit.
11 a.m. – Noon: Sketch Artists’ Roundtable.
Noon – 1 p.m.: Lunch special: Jailhouse Hooch-Brewin’ with Beth.
1 p.m. – 2 p.m.: How Many Packs of Camels Are You Worth?
2 p.m. – 3 p.m.: Hans and Franz Pump You Up.
3 p.m. – 5 p.m.: Trading Places.
5 p.m. – 6 p.m: Screw Talk: This Is Why We Don’t Give You People Spoons and Razor Blades.
6 p.m. – 7 p.m.: Dinnertime Theatre: When “Noooooooo!” Really Means “No”
7 p.m. – 8 p.m.: Screw Talk with Lisa: Advanced Waterboarding.
8 p.m. – 10 p.m.: Midnight Express.
10 p.m. – 11 p.m.: Erase Your Legal Debts with Peter Francis Geraci.
11 p.m. – Midnight: More scrambled porn.

Comments welcome.

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Posted on July 30, 2010