By The Beachwood Dating Forensics Unit
Exclusive Beachwood reporting from behind-the-scenes of the break-up has revealed a host of reasons why this Chicago wonder couple just couldn’t make it.
* Brian blames Jenny for his recent surgery because she persuaded him not to take anti-knee injury vaccine.
* Jenny needs a bigger intellectual challenge.
* Brian upset because Jenny wouldn’t come to bed Photoshopped.
* Jenny didn’t think Jenny Urlacher had a good ring to it.
* Brian wanted an open relationship in which he’d be able to sleep with nitwits from other cities.
* Jenny is really more of a Packers fan.
* Brian was upset because Jenny never wanted to huddle after sex.
* Jenny, too, thought Urlacher’s performance was overrated.
* Brian upset that Jenny would call out “Fireman Bill!” during sex.
* Jenny upset that Brian would call out the names of every woman he owed child support to during sex.
* Brian thought that whatever happened on the road should stay on the road.
* Jenny really didn’t like the Bears’ color scheme.
* Brian got really clingy once he had his knee scoped.
* Jenny thought Brian should get a job instead of staying home all day complaining about his poor knee.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on August 17, 2012