By David Rutter
1. Joe Walsh, WTF?
In a legislative body occasionally comprised of crooks, pedophiles and nincompoops, it takes some astounding level of moral decay to be the worst of the lot. But we think this guy qualifies, not perhaps as the worst legislator because he hasn’t really done anything, but the actual worst human being. He is the Worst Human Being in the U.S. House of Representatives.
You all know who this guy is. He’s loud, obnoxious, arrogant, never picks up a check, eats all your food when he visits, steals your monogrammed towels, lectures you interminably about how he is smarter than you are. And he’s resiliently unemployed. Yes, it’s your brother-in-law.
2. Betty’s house, WTF?
First prize in this lottery was a so-so house at a cut price, plus a date with former owner Betty Loren-Maltese.
Second prize was a so-so house and two dates with Betty.
3. Chicago State, again, WTF?
Hopelessly befuddled.
Know two better words?
Somehow, calling this enterprise “higher education” doesn’t seem quite fair or accurate. Chi State is like the world’s smallest big screen TV.
4. Dunkin’ Nuts, WTF?
We don’t know the answer to whatever question you want to ask about this.
But it seems a pleasant comic interlude while we wait for the nation’s economy to go all Titanic on us.
Personally, WTF knows how this guy feels.
5. Political Pros, WTF?
Here’s the argument.
My vote can’t be bought with lobbyist money and any suggestion to that effect is a vile canard.
On the other hand, the lobbyists handing out the cash obviously think you can be bought, otherwise the money would be wasted. Lobbyists don’t throw cash at politicians because of a belief in civic virtues. It’s commerce.
We understand why politicians don’t want to be called prostitutes. But ma’am, we’ve already decided what sort of lady you are; now we’re deciding the price.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on July 29, 2011