By Stephanie B. Goldberg
1. Now that Walgreens has shelved a certain novelty item, I wonder if there’s a market for a Phil Spector Chia Pet. Water it and it plays “River Deep, Mountain High” while holding a gun to your head.
2. Does anyone want to protest the rollback of the Bush tax cuts for high wage earners in 2011 by pretending to throw tea into the Chicago River and wildly inflating the numbers of people in attendance? Nah, me neither.
3. The good news, Governor Blagojevich, is that Judge James Zagel has given you the okay to do “I’m A Celebrity – Get Me Out Of Here!” The bad news is that we’re shooting it inside your cell at the Marion pen.
4. Humanitarian rock star Bono has taken to wearing eyeliner because he believes it’s sexy. Obviously, he’s never seen Amy Winehouse.
5. Jamie Foxx clarified today that he was quoted out of context when he said on his Sirus radio show that Miley Cyrus should “do a sex tape with her father” and “get Chlamydia from a bicycle seat.”
What he really meant to say was “Please stop making those putrid TV shows and movies and passing yourself off as a virgin and keeping your father’s career on life support when, if there were any justice in the world, he’d be a bellhop at the Branson Holiday Inn.” Thanks for clearing that up.
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The Twit of the Week: Oprah
For leaving 64,011 followers waiting.
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Stephanie Goldberg’s Five Dumbest Ideas Of The Week appears in this space very Friday.
Posted on April 17, 2009