By Stephanie B. Goldberg
1. Memo to the Farrelly Brothers: After you’re done with your Three Stooges biopic starring Sean Penn as Larry, could you please remake Whatever Happened to Baby Jane with Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff?
2. I bet you thought I was going to take a shot at Blago’s talk radio debut.
Nah, too easy.
3. Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) offended my civic pride this week by comparing the use of a 50-vote majority to pass health care reform as “running over the minority, putting them in cement, and throwing them in the Chicago River.”
Remind me to take him on a Wendella boat ride when the Dave Matthews Band is in town.
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Editor’s Note to Gregg: We don’t have a minority in Chicago.
4. Nobody can say IBM doesn’t have a heart. The corporation is telling laid-off workers that they can have their old jobs back if they move to India and work for local wages. The employee foots the bill for relocation but IBM will spring for the cost of the visa.
5. The new poster boy for Narcissistic Personality Disorder is Jake Santis, an AIG department head who quit this week to protest the bonus backlash and then published his incredibly overwrought, self-serving resignation letter in the New York Times.
DeSantis claims he really and truly deserves his $700k bonus, which he’s not giving back but will donate to charity, assuring his boss: “Once all the money is donated, you will immediately receive a list of all recipients.” (Stop the press.) The real losers, of course, are DeSantis’ wife and kids, who now have this grandiose mope on their hands 24/7.
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Twit of the Week: Mariel Hemingway
“i think I got bit by a spider in the night apparently when spiders come to you it is a sign of something good I will ask carl jung”
11:13 AM Mar 24th from TweetDeck
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Look for Stephanie Goldberg’s Five Dumbest Ideas of the Week in this space on Fridays.
Posted on March 27, 2009