By Stephanie B Goldberg
1. I always thought of my brain as flypaper for salacious gossip, but the thought of dull, bespectacled CNN analyst Jeffrey Toobin knocking up the daughter of dull, bespectacled former CNN analyst Jeff Greenfield just makes my head hurt. Daddy issues much? Or more of a CNN thing?
2. Just think: If Jimmy Fallon had received more attention from his parents as a child, we’d all be watching Late Night with Horatio Sanz. (And when I say all of us, I mean the entire Home Depot cleaning crew at store No. 326 in Laporte, Indiana.)
3. Homemakers of America, take note. Bed, Bath & Beyond is sponsoring a competition for women inventors. Products must be “related to the home” and “solution-oriented.” Okay, how about a ball gag for that ShamWow guy?
4. I went to CPAC last week and all I got was this crummy T-shirt . . . and a suspicious looking rash. Damn you, Trent Lott.
5. You loved the impeachment, now read the book. Chapter Five: “Bobby Jindal’s on the line, Governor. He wants to know who does your hair.”
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Look for Stephanie Goldberg’s Five Dumbest Ideas of the Week in this space on Fridays.
Posted on March 7, 2009