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The Five Dumbest Ideas of The Week

By Stephanie B  Goldberg

1. Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck is spearheading a “carbon onset” program to mock the Democrat’s “green” convention, which was more notable for its ambitions than its results. To reach his goal of generating 70 million pounds of carbon, Beck is imploring his audience to “give me an extra day of increased garbage, maybe two, maybe three? Can you throw away some stuff that you don’t really need to throw away? Can you not recycle?” Beck, for example, vowed to do his part by dispensing twice as much trash over the air as he usually does.
2. Sarah Palin is what happens when your nominee’s judgement is impaired by spending too much time at toga parties and happy hours.


3. Does metalhead Kevin Cogill really deserve three years of hard time for posting nine tracks from Guns ‘N Roses’ forthcoming album, Chinese Democracy, on the Internet? Absolutely, says Cogill’s hero, GNR guitarist Slash: “I hope he rots in jail.” Which would be a perfect example of, um, Chinese democracy.
4. The new bosses at the Tribune have reportedly ruled out re-naming the paper “The Trib”, but adding the “u,” “n” and “e” back into the budget will cost another investigative reporter.
5. When in Syria, be sure to drop in to the world’s largest restaurant, The Damascus Gate, to share an intimate evening with 6,000 other customers. We can’t hope to improve on the redoubtable Guardian’s description of the establishment: “The Damascus Gate resembles a film set from Lawrence of Arabia that’s been hijacked by a flamboyant Las Vegas hotelier, redecorated, then carefully placed in the middle of the desert.” Now, if they add blackjack tables they might be on to something.

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Posted on August 30, 2008