Chicago - A message from the station manager

QT: Reversals Of Fortune

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Pessimists live longer than optimists, study says.”
Or think of it this way: If you are optimistic, you have good reason to be pessimistic.

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QT Trickle-On Economics Update:
Goldman Sachs offered a gala black-tie party for its partners that one partygoer likened to “the Golden Globes of investment banking” as it prepared to lay off at least 5 percent of its workers.

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News Headline: “Elizabeth Warren: Sequester is ‘just plain dumb.'”
News Headline: “Rep. Eliot Engel: The sequester is ‘stupid.'”
News Headline: “Erskine Bowles: Sequester is ‘stupid, stupid, stupid.'”
News Headline: “Trying to understand the sequester.”
It won’t be easy.
Not if our politicians insist on using technical language.

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Or think of the sequester as a case of cutting off our foot to spite our face.

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S.S., a Minneapolis reader, regarding QT’s asking its readers to stop playing games with the names with fish, writes:
“Walleye never. . . .”
This is sardinely wearing a bit fin. . . .

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QT End of the World As We Know It Update:
Asteroid 2013 EB passed inside the moon’s orbit on Thursday.
We know this because it was discovered two days later.
Asteroid 2013 EC, meanwhile, was discovered Sunday.
It is passing inside the moon’s orbit as you read this.

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News Headline: “Can a brain-twisting smartphone game help combat depression?”
Sure.
Well, unless you lose.
And lose again.
And keep losing. . . .

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News Item: “. . . cleared the way for a state takeover of Detroit. . . declaration by the Republican governor virtually assures that the state of Michigan will assume control of Detroit’s books. . . .”
No one should be surprised.
Haven’t Republicans always stood for big government over local government?

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News Headline: “Humans kill nearly 100 million sharks a year, say conservationists.”
Ask any shark.
We humans are a ferocious species.

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The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
+ A 7-year-old Baltimore boy who tried to bend a breakfast pastry so it would look like a mountain was suspended because the teacher thought it looked like a gun.
+ A 16-year-old boy who wrestled a gun from a student who was threatening another student was suspended for being involved in an “incident” that involved a gun.

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Today’s Birthdays: “Swan Lake,” 136; “Happy Birthday to You,” 89.

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “Zimbabwe to crack down on offshore cash hording.”
News Headline: “Apple to spend $45B of cash horde on dividends, stock buy-back.”
P.B., a Chicago reader, says this mistake is made by hoards of people.
It isn’t “spitting image,” by the way, but “spit and image.”
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. QT welcomes your comments. For more QT, visit the QT archives. QT is also on Facebook.

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Posted on March 4, 2013