By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Physicists think alternative universe ‘vacuum bubble’ may destroy existence.”
News Headline: “Kim Kardashian: If I was a man I’d want to have sex with myself.”
Admit it. Aren’t there moments when you root for the bubble?
News Headline: “Campaign to rebrand GOP.”
News Headline: “Tea Party depicts Karl Rove as a Nazi.”
The rebrand may still need a little tweaking.
News Headline: “Congressman who claims evolution is a ‘lie from the pit of hell’ to run for Senate.”
News Headline: “Leading geneticist: Human intelligence is slowly declining.”
Slowly?
+ Kevin Smith, a Nashville, Tenn., reader, regarding QT’s mention that police investigating thefts of public toilets in New Mexico say they have nothing to go on, writes:
“The thieves? Flushed with success.”
OK. Pipe down.
+ Mary Lu Larsen, an East Hazel Crest reader, writes:
“And then someone drilled a hole in the fence of a nudist camp. Police are looking into it.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.
News Item: “. . . The report raises questions about TSA training of the dog-sniffing teams. . . .”
And leaves us to wonder why anyone would train a team to sniff dogs.
We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has sued a North Carolina firm that requires applicants for some jobs to be able to lift 75 pounds because the requirement discriminates against those who can’t lift 75 pounds.
QT News You Can Use:
The Rapture Index, which measures the progression of end-time prophecy according to world events, has risen to a record high of 188, citing, among other indicators, declining commodity prices, and with everything else Wall Street has brought to us, why not the end of the world?
News Item: “The Air Force is reportedly developing tiny winged drones that can sneak up on a suspected enemy as stealthily as a mosquito. . . .”
There are no known countermeasures.
Well. Unless you have a fly swatter.
QT News Presented Without Comment:
Baltimore spent $585,000 on a study to determine why the city doesn’t have enough money.
News Item: “. . . Atlantic City casinos. . . Donald Trump once owned several, which declared for bankruptcy. . . .”
As we consider again the financial acumen it requires to manage a gambling casino into Chapter 11.
News Headline: “Space trips to cost $200,000.”
And $10,000 for a bag of pretzels.
From Poor QT’s Almanack:
On this day in history 221 years ago President Washington signed the Postal Service Act, creating the U.S. Post Office.
Socialist.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “. . . to be at his beckon call. . . .”
News Item: “. . . ample weapons at their beckon call.”
QT is at the beck and call of anyone who wants review the correct usage.
Speaking of nautical terms, which suddenly we seem to be:
“Gunwale” rhymes with “tunnel.”
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Posted on February 20, 2013