By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Tea Party rooting for sequester.”
News Headline: “At National Zoo, sequester could threaten exhibits.”
There must be something we can do to help these poor creatures.
And the ones in zoo, too.
News Headline: “Senate Democrats protect corporate jet tax loophole.”
Lest we forget that corporate jets are people, too.
News Headline: “Giant sunspot now aimed directly at Earth.”
News Headline: “How a super volcano could threaten Earth.”
News Headline: “Gamma rays could end life on Earth.”
Move along, nothing to see here. . . .
A Republic, If You Can Keep It:
Three out of 10 people you see on the street have heard “nothing at all” about the upcoming federal budget sequester.
We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
F.M., a Chicago reader, notes that the iTunes book section lists Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species under “Fiction and Literature” and the Bible under “Reference.”
News Headline: “Why no prosecutions on Wall Street?”
News Headline: “Iran to hang four bankers on fraud charges.”
Admit it.
You found this tempting, just for a moment.
Bob Gold, a Key West, Fla., reader, regarding another reader’s mention that the mislabeling of fish in restaurants and grocery stores has caused officials to schedule a herring, writes:
“I just can’t fathom this story.”
+ R.T., a Chicago reader, writes:
“I like to be optimistic. But I don’t believe the herring will serve any porpoise.”
+ Gary Duffala, a Rio Rancho, N.M. reader, writes:
“So let’s trout out one more thing to carp about.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.
And There Happen to be Drug Therapies Available Update:
Those who grieve for more than two weeks over a death are not merely sad but suffer from prolonged grieving disorder.
QT News Presented Without Comment:
Jermaine Jackson has changed his name to Jermaine Jacksun for “artistic reasons.”
News Headline: “Sen. Ted Cruz: I’m being silenced.”
But is there a downside?
QT What Passes for Miracles These Days Update:
An image of Jesus has been found in bird droppings on a car windshield in Brooklyn, Ohio.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Alfred Hitchcock never won a Best Director Oscar.
+ There is no bourbon produced in Bourbon County, Ky.
News Item: “. . . The total of 2 trillion plus 155 billion gallons is more water than the annual flow of the Wisconsin River at the Wisconsin Dells. It is more than three times the volume contained in Lake Winnebago. . . .”
Or enough water to fill 283,346 Boeing 747s, if you are still trying to visualize it.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “. . . break the yolk of the tyrant. . . .”
News Item: “. . . breaking the yolk of oligarchy. . . .”
Some people like their oppression over easy.
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Posted on February 25, 2013