Chicago - A message from the station manager

QT: Another Precinct Heard From

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Bobby Jindal: GOP must stop being ‘stupid party.’ ”
News Headline: “Haley Barbour agrees GOP must stop being ‘stupid.’ ”
No. Let’s be fair.
Let’s hear what the Democrats have to say.

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Super Bowl XLVII Countdown Update:
San Francisco Police, with VI days to go, announced there will be CD officers on duty Sunday to deal with fan violence, III times the normal number.

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News Headline: “Wild weather: Extreme is the new normal.”
News Headline: “Climate-change reality laps up on Florida shores.”
News Headline: “White House offers few details on climate-change plan.”
Take your time, Mr. President.
We have all the time in the world.

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A Scout Is Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, Reverent and Intolerant Update:
Pack 442 of Cloverly, Md., has dropped its posted policy against discrimination based on “race, religion, national origin, ability or sexual orientation” after the Boy Scouts of America threatened to take away the pack’s charter.

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News Headline: “Child labor uncovered in Apple’s supply chain.”
How can this company get any more progressive and hip?

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K.R., a Baltimore reader, regarding QT’s mention that a case of vandalism by fruit-throwers in New Rochelle, N.Y., had caused police to investigate persimmons of interest, followed by a reader’s mention that a suspicious pear had been lurking in the area, writes:
“I should think you would have squashed this nonsense by now.”
You are right.
QT discourages any further attempts to mango our language.

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News Headline: “Armed man’s capitol intrusion unnerves Idaho lawmakers.”
News Headline: “For sixth time in a week, man shot at a gun show.”
OK. We’ve been trying it the National Rifle Association’s way.
How long would it take to manufacture 315 million assault rifles?
Then we can all just have it out.

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QT News Presented Without Comment:
A 93-year-old man in Kansas City, Mo., said he killed his wife of 70 years because he “couldn’t take it anymore.”

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News Headline: “Palin: ‘We have just begun to fight!'”
News Headline: “Mitt Romney: ‘I’m not going away.'”
News Headline: “New research needed to combat resistant infections.”
Scientists are doing what they can.

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The number of Google hits for “tap-dancing militant Islamic fundamentalists” has been at 2,830 for two weeks, for those keeping track.
There remain zero Google hits for “aggressive criminal prosecutions of Wall Street executives by the Obama administration.”

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QT Early Warning System:
Three days remain until National Boost Your Self-Esteem Month.
For all the good it will do.

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Today’s Birthdays: Henry VII, 556; Mustapha III, 296; Clementine IX, 413; Super Bowl XXIV, 23.

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
+ M.J., a Mokena reader, regarding QT’s reminder that that the first two syllables of “gerrymander” should be pronounced GARY, not JERRY, writes:
“Webster’s New World Dictionary lists JERRY as the first pronunciation example for gerrymander. It also lists GARY as the proper pronunciation for Elbridge.”
QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:
gerrymander verb 1. to divide an area into voting districts that give one party an unfair advantage in elections 2. and, right, it’s a noun, too. 3. both of which are pronounced GARY-mander because they are named after Vice President Elbridge Gerry, who pronounced his name GARY. 4. but other dictionaries are giving up on this after more than a century of sloppy pronunciation, the same way they are giving up on the difference between “imply” and “infer.” 5. So there we are.
+ R.R., a Chicago reader, regarding QT’s wondering what comes before suprapreantepenultimate, which comes before preantepenultimate, which comes before antepenultimate, which comes before penultimate, which comes before ultimate, writes:
“Foresuprapreantepenultimate?”
There is no “x” in espresso, by the way.
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
Visit QT at facebook.com/zaynsmithqt
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

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Posted on January 28, 2013