A Makeover For The Ages
“Battered by the recession and a high debt load, the Field Museum on Tuesday announced plans to cut staff, overhaul its operations and limit the scope of its research,” the Tribune reports.
“A comprehensive plan being drawn up by museum officials also could include changes to its hours of operation and the admission price for special exhibits. Staff reductions would be aimed at curators and scientists, according to museum officials.”
As usual, the Beachwood has obtained an internal document outlining detailing measures under consideration or already underway.
* Sue busted down to Brontosaurus.
* New exhibit: Students as janitors through the ages.
* Unnatural history now included too.
* No more Pleistocene era.
* Change focus to an actual museum of fields.
* New ad campaign starring Sally Field.
* New exhibit: The Stoned Age.
* Expansion: The Field and Stream Museum.
* Change focus: The Field of Dreams Museum.
* Restoration of depreciation tax credit that expired 100,000,000 years ago.
* New gift store item: Maps of where the bodies are buried.
* New exhibit: The Prehistoric Bears Offense.
* Hire Robin Williams as security guard.
* Convert to charter museum.
* Hire the descendants of the Flintstones to live there for a month.
* New exhibit: Frozen Caveman Lawyer.
* New diorama: The Meeting: Karen Lewis and Rahm Emanuel.
* The Richard M. Daley Library: Including hologram of the former mayor threatening to stick a rifle up a reporter’s butt.
* Now with exhibits so easy even a caveman can understand them.
* Pretend packages are arriving for Indiana Jones.
* New exhibit: Stretch: The Broadcast Career of Hawk Harrelson.
* That new Chicago casino has to go somewhere.
– Thomas Chambers, Marty Gangler and Steve Rhodes
Comments welcome.
Posted on December 20, 2012