By The Beachwood Millennium Falcon Affairs Desk
“Star Wars creator George Lucas has selected Chicago over Los Angeles and San Francisco as the future home of his collection of art and movie memorabilia,” the Tribune reports.
Using the Force, the Beachwood has obtained the exclusive inside story behind this development. To wit:
1. It was a quid pro yoda.
2. City Hall promised unlimited access to Sneed.
3. Diverted Blair Kamin’s attention by putting up Trump sign.
4. Granted permission to use Soldier Field as the new Millennium Falcon in next movie.
5. Rahm appeared as a hologram in Lucas’s bedroom one night saying he was his only hope.
6. Told Lucas that LA and San Francisco weren’t the droids he was looking for.
7. It turns out that Lucas is Rahm’s father.
8. Revenge of the TIF.
9. Who can resist Rahm’s charm?
10. Ari Emanuel absolutely had nothing to do with it. Also, these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
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Comments welcome.
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1. From Marty Gangler:
LA and San Francisco underestimated the power of the Dark Side.
Posted on June 24, 2014