By J.J. Tindall
The War of the Rainbows
I miss the war
of the rainbows most
of the recurring dreams I had
when I could sleep.
They would kick-box
across the horizon
like giant pairs of bowl-legs.
I even miss
the nightmares which, I’m certain,
were often fueled by nicotine:
hurtling down the Eisenhower
in a bus I can neither steer
nor stop, while being stabbed in the ribs
with a screwdriver
by an invisible assailant,
feeling it as though
it was actually happening.
What I would give now
for that one to recur!
Age, weight, diet, beer, cigs, coffee, apnea,
aging parents, financial strife, work stress
(including now routine/required bag checks),
impending loss of health insurance.
Nothing out of the ordinary, really.
Except, perhaps, for the homeless guy
who has taken to sleeping
under my back porch. I dread
having to check to see
the crack of his ass
sticking out under the back stairwell
(I note here with interest
that he does seem to be able to sleep).
And I dread, whilst wide awake
in the dead of it,
hearing the back gate below
my bedroom window click
open and shut. Him?
I never check at night.
I dread
the ream of bad habits
I’ll have to break
to get back
on a reasonable track.
Sometimes, I read.
And I’m learning to meditate
rather than rue, to
vacate rather than stew.
I’m getting better
at not going online.
I miss, when I could sleep,
communing with loved ones
who’ve passed on:
high school buddies who died young,
my Dad; rarely
do we discuss their passing
and re-appearance.
I tend to play it cool,
as if nothing happened.
I do not miss
being back in the family home
(I like where I am now,
except for the not-sleeping part) nor
heading back to that home
only to remember
we don’t live there anymore.
And I don’t miss
being back at college
with one semester to go
having no idea
where any of my classes are.
I do miss
that war.
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J.J. Tindall is the Beachwood’s poet-in-residence. He welcomes your comments. Chicagoetry is an exclusive Beachwood collection-in-progress.
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More Tindall:
* Chicagoetry: The Book
* Ready To Rock: The Music
* Kindled Tindall: The Novel
* The Viral Video: The Match Game Dance
Posted on October 23, 2017