By The Beachwood Hokey Celebrations Affairs Desk
Today is “Olympic Day,” and Chicago 2016 officials have a fun-filled day in store for you. So do we.
* Buy something you can’t afford on your credit card
* Tell your spouse not to worry about your checking account because you’re going to buy an insurance policy as a buffer.
* Put some skin in the game. Tell Vito on Grand Avenue that the Beachwood sent you.
* Use today as a teaching lesson for your kids about how and why adults lie.
* Petition the Sun-Times for a new poll: Which has hotter fans, badminton or pole-vaulting?
* Use your more recent property tax bill to help ignite an Olympic flame.
* Go to your alderman’s office, bend over, say thank you, and ask for another.
* Spray paint a parking meter with the Olympic colors.
* Refer all questions to your spokesman.
* Take out a huge mortgage on someone else’s house.
* Displace a poor person, just for practice.
* Invite some strangers over to trash your house.
* Create a TIF fund out of your kids’ allowance.
* Act like true Chicagoans: Just let Daley decide for you.
– Marty Gangler, Ivana Susic, Steve Yaccino, Rick Kaempfer, Tim Willette, Andrew Reilly, Steve Rhodes
–
Your contributions welcome.
–
Reader Submissions:
1. From Beachwood reader Mark:
Be a part of the excitement – bulldoze a few giant Xs into your own alley.
2. From Mike Knezovich:
Build a temporary scale-model Olympic stadium out of Legos.
3. From Beachwood reader Chris:
Ride the CTA at rush hour. Earn a 3-minute penalty every time the train waits for signals up ahead.
4. From Beachwood reader Jim:
Pay three times the amount shown on the initial price tag for everything you buy.
Posted on June 23, 2009