By Don Jacobson

1. Even 30 years after his death, Elvis Presley continues to be a never-ending cheese factory. It’s amazing how he’s managed to do that. Then again, unlike fellow ubiquitons (my brand-new term for movie and rock cultural icons that are so overexposed their relevance has changed from who they actually were to the fact that they are ubiquitous) Marilyn Monroe and James Dean, Presley’s handlers – like “Colonel” Parker – seemed as if they were cynically planning for the post-mortem nostalgia market from the get-go. How else could you explain the fact that Dead Elvis raked in $52 million in 2005, according to Forbes, the most of any deceased celeb?

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Posted on July 16, 2007

By Don Jacobson

1. I don’t know how The New York Times chooses its lifestyle articles, but I want to believe that they’re based on the work of dedicated legions of trend-spotters working in close conjunction with squinting, bespectacled social scientists, together continually scouring the minutiae of daily life to come up with relevant, insightful dissections of which cultural imperatives drive us to do what weird things.
Then there’s this week’s story of an alleged trend of middle-aged white guys all across the country flocking to their three-car suburban garages to bash out bad rock ‘n’ roll on expensive musical gear. Unlike the NYT, I’m pretty sure this isn’t really a trend, and if it were – keeping in mind the recent Father’s Day “holiday” – it would only confirm to me the death of rock. I mean, with ol’ Dad hogging the garage to play Doobie Brothers covers with his accountant buddy on the drum kit, no self-respecting teenager would want to have anything to do with this kind of music ever again.

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Posted on June 18, 2007

By Don Jacobson

1. U2 was at Cannes, hawking their new three-dimensional movie, U2 3D. I dunno, even if it turns out to be the most awesomely great visual experience I’ve ever had, I still have a funny feeling about something this gimmicky. As Milhouse says, “It used to be about the music, man.”

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Posted on May 23, 2007

By Don Jacobson

1. If you met Bowzer from Sha Na Na, would you be “star-struck”? Moreover, would you do his political bidding? Apparently bowled over by the who-knew star power of the 1970s doo-wopper, that’s what legislators in 10 states have done, according to the Associated Press, which reports that Tennessee, the birthplace of rock ‘n’ roll, has passed Bowzer’s Law (my name for it), which makes it illegal to pass yourself off as an original 1950s vocal group.

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Posted on May 11, 2007

By Don Jacobson

1. Thursday’s Velvet Revolver show at the Riviera is sold out. Why? Maybe it’s because no less an expert than Sammy Hagar says they’re “the best rock ‘n’ roll band left on the planet.” That kind of endorsement I’m sure sent the fans a’running to their nearest Ticketmaster outlet. It assumes there were only a finite number of rock ‘n’ roll bands to begin with. Perhaps Sammy thinks they stopped making them after Scott Weiland’s Stone Temple Pilots broke up. Now Weiland’s got fellow hard rock dinosaurs Slash and Duff with him in Velvet Revolver, so everybody else who believes there hasn’t been any good rock since Axl jumped the shark can rejoice this week. Oh, and keep in mind Sammy also endorsed the Bush-Cheney campaign. I guess that means they’re the best ol’ leaders left on the planet.

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Posted on May 9, 2007

“Legendary death metallers Cannibal Corpse have set Kill as the title of their tenth album, due March 21 via Metal Blade Records Europe. The CD is being recorded at Mana Studios in St. Petersburg, Florida with producer Erik Rutan (Morbid Angel, Hate Eternal).
“Comments bassist Alex Webster: ‘Hey everybody, since word seems to be out, we figured we’d make it official. Our new album will be entitled Kill.’

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Posted on April 2, 2006